Difficult Dialogues by John Erickson

Let’s have a conversation about men and feminism and how we can continue to abolish the patriarchy together rather than writing mean, hurtful comments online.

logo-CCWA few months ago Governor Jerry Brown appointed me to be the first man on the prestigious California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls. I am so excited and honored by this amazing opportunity to continue the great work that California is doing to tackle issues such as pay equality, advancing more girls in the STEM field, creating more opportunities for women in leadership positions across California, and a host of other hot topic issues.

From the moment I started telling people, the responses were extremely positive. People were very excited that we could have a conversation about how men can be included in creating change to better impact the lives of women and girls from all walks of life.  It felt great to see such a positive response from so many people that I love, trust, and admire. However, while much positivity still remains, it has come to my attention that some people are not so thrilled about my appointment. However, what these people and groups online do not realize is that I fully expected and am happy to see such conversations occurring about men in feminism.

I must be completely honest, some of the comments online hurt. People are trying to smear my character, what I believe in, and what I am most passionate about. In talking with some of my closest friends, I couldn’t disagree that this was exactly the type of conversation that I hope would come out as a result of my appointment because we need to involve more men in feminist causes because we cannot achieve true gender equality unless we are all working together to stop the patriarchy. To think that patriarchy only impacts women would be a simplification of the deep seeded issue that it actually is. As bell hooks states: “The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.”

utt-3We need to be having these dialogues about men in feminism and if we do not and if we cast out all men as unwilling participants, we risk only furthering the great gendered divide rather than abolishing it altogether.  Like I wrote about in my very first post on this site as well as subsequent other times, men are not inherent leaders of feminism and to claim to do an injustice to the cause. Men must be willing partners who are there to listen to criticism, have difficult dialogues, and push their sex further away from the domineering normative culture that demands men are on top of the proverbial food chain.

However, one thing that I will address is that, while reading through many of the comments, many progressive and leftist feminist activists fall victim to the same stereotypes they oftentimes write about online that they would like to see abolished from people on the right. Reading comments about my appearance or body image leads me to believe that we have as much work to do within our progressive communities as we do outside of them.

Let’s have a conversation about men and feminism and how we can continue to abolish the patriarchy together rather than writing mean, hurtful comments online. I invite any of these groups or individuals to email me at ericksonjohn1985@gmail.com to have a conversation.  I hope we can have an actual conversation rather than a series of postings online that are misleading about who I am and what I believe in.


These are only some of the conversations I hope we can have at the Commission. We need men in feminism. We need men to care about raising their sons and daughters with feminist principles. We need to educate more men on respecting women, their bodily autonomy, and understanding that no means no.

I look forward to continuing these conversations and I hope that we can engage in a dialogue together rather than apart.

*Note: the title of this article comes from the title of the 2009 NWSA Conference. 


John Erickson is the President of the Hollywood Chapter of the National Organization for Women. John is a Ph.D. Candidate in American Religious History at Claremont Graduate University where he is finishing up his dissertation tentatively titled “Step Sons and Step Daughter”: Chosen Communities, Religion, and LGBT Liberation.” John holds a MA in Women’s Studies in Religion; an MA in Applied Women’s Studies; and a BA in English and Women’s Studies. He is the Founding and Past President of the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh’s LGBTQA+ Alumni Association and currently serves as the Chair of the Legislative Committee for the Stonewall Democratic Club, a Diversity and Inclusion Fellow at Claremont Graduate University. He is a permanent contributor to the blog Feminism and Religion, a Co-Founder of the blog The Engaged Gaze, and the Co-Chair of the Queer Studies in Religion Section of the American Academy of Religion’s Western Region, the only regional section of the American Academy of Religion that is dedicated to the exploration of queer studies in religion and other relevant fields in the nation. In April 2017, he was the first openly gay athlete to be inducted into the Wisconsin Volleyball Conference Hall of Fame. Most recently, John was one of the coordinators of the Women’s March Los Angeles, which brought together 750,000 people in downtown Los Angeles on January 21, 2017, and a Committee Member for the #ResistMarch, which brought together 100,000 people from Hollywood to West Hollywood in honor of LA Pride on June 11, 2017.

Author: John M. Erickson

Mayor Pro Tempore John M. Erickson was elected to the West Hollywood City Council on November 3, 2020 with the commitment to uphold the city’s founding vision for a forward-thinking, diverse and tolerant community. Mayor Pro Tempore Erickson first planted roots in West Hollywood in 2010 when he was selected to intern for the City Council. The internship set him on a path that connected his work for social and economic justice with his passion for public service. He went on to become Council Deputy to former Mayor Abbe Land and then served as City’s Community Affairs where he advanced policies and programs to increase awareness around LGBTQ+ rights, women’s rights, the environment, and civic engagement. After leaving City Hall, Mayor Pro Tempore Erickson served as a Legislative Representative at LAX (Los Angeles International Airport) and is currently the Interim Vice President of Public Affairs, Communications, and Marketing at Planned Parenthood Los Angeles. The immediate past Vice-Chair of the City’s Planning Commission, Mayor Pro Tempore Erickson’s priorities on the City Council include: overcoming COVID through sensible health practices and economic recovery; creating more affordable housing and protecting renters’ rights; reducing traffic through alternative transportation strategies, fighting climate change and making our city more sustainable; and implementing policies that make the city truly free of prejudice and welcoming to all. Mayor Pro Tempore Erickson has earned a reputation as a fearless, tenacious and effective voice for those who need one. His advocacy work includes serving a National Board member of the National Organization for Women and President of the ACLU Southern California. In 2017, he became Governor Brown’s appointee to the California Commission on the Status of Women and Girls and served as an organizer for both the Resist March and the historic Women’s March, Los Angeles that year. He serves on the Board of the Women’s March Los Angeles Foundation Mayor Pro Tempore Erickson was part of the End Statute of Limitation on Rape (ERSOL) Campaign, which overturned California’s statute of limitations on rape and sexual assault in 2016. Mayor Pro Tempore Erickson received his Ph.D. in American Religious History from Claremont Graduate University and a Dual-Master’s Degree from Claremont Graduate University. He graduated from the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh with a B.A. in English and Women’s Studies.

12 thoughts on “Difficult Dialogues by John Erickson”

  1. One of the first feminists I knew is a male, also named “John”, but living here (V.I.) rather than in California! Congratulations on your appointment to the Commission. I felt a little shock at first with the idea of a man on the Status of Women Commission. But of course, it’s imperative to work together if we are going to overcome the oppression of dominance – whether patriarchy or matriarchy – and build community. I need constant reminders of this.


  2. John, good for you and congratulations on being appointed to the commission. I have no doubts at all that you will work hard to help men and women alike learn to be nicer, kinder, more polite to each other. I don’t understand why people think they can be so mean when they post on social media. I’m hoping your work–and the work of other good men and women–will change that. Bright blessings to your work. And to you.


  3. An important post, thanks John Erickson. And I agree we need to have more dialogue with men in support of feminism — as you say, “Men can do it too.”

    One great male feminist I once met was a very fine art teacher in college, and he opened lots of other doors, including what is now called earth-based spirituality — I also remember how greatly he admired Georgia O’Keeffe’s exceedingly delightful love of nature — her Jimson Weed paintings, for instance, flowering out there in the desert. I linked my name here to one of O’Keeffe’s paintings, much loved by my teacher too, and a must see masterpiece.


      1. I just try to make sure that in my work I also empower and bring women and girls into positions of leadership; it is critical!


  4. Congratulations, John! As I noted once before, the first time I saw your name here, I was miffed. A man in our midst — bah, humbug! I have come to respect your views and look forward to your contributions. Your presence here is a blessing, and California is lucky to have you on the commission.


    1. That really means a lot! We have to work together and have a dialogue otherwise we will not move past both the situation we are in now as well as ones that we might get into in the future!


  5. While I agree both womyn and men must work together to end patriarchy it has been my experience that men have a tendency to take over at meetings and make things all about them.As far as the hurtful comments online well that’s what womyn experience everyday! I also notice that when a man says he is a feminist womyn tend to heap praise on him,but we rarely praise womyns feminism in that way.


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