Back in August when I was applying for yoga certification, I discovered, in my search for our textbooks, the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali, 196 aphorisms. I had no idea what a gem of wisdom they would be, especially the first two pada (sections). No doubt, my reception of them is made possible by the mindful commentary of Reverend Jaganath Carrera, but I have found them to be much needed guidance, lessons that were never articulated to me in quite this way. I’d like to share with you some of the sutras that have most helped me begin moving again.
1.30. Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, sensuality, false perception, failure to reach firm ground, and slipping from the ground gained—these distractions of the mind-stuff are the obstacles.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Unabashedly, this describes a thick slice of my self-narrative. Carrera comments that the obstacles are in order, as if steps to a downfall. I had been wondering before encountering these scriptures where I had gone off-course. I had found myself feeling depressed, anxious, and desperate without a job and a means for independence at 35. I had a Ph.D., but that did not seem to matter in the way I thought it would. I can very much say that after graduating and having been an adjunct for 10 years already, I was feeling dis-ease. I fell into dullness, only applying haphazardly to full-time jobs and then into doubt when nothing positive came back. Once you lose your faith, I’m not sure much can happen. So I began to get careless, forgetting what it was to be a scholar. I felt the job search for the academy was too difficult and became lazy, beginning to look for something easier. This is when I decided to shelve everything and travel around Spain, Germany, and Ireland for as long as I could. It was sensually indulgent for sure. I cannot say I did not have a magical and liberating time. I absolutely did. But I returned after four months only to sink to that place I mentioned in the beginning – the depression and panic. My false perception was what I discussed in my post about “Hard Work without Getting Anywhere” – I realized that I had been so despondent because I had felt I was entitled. Entitled to an easy path to job security and the comfortable life I envisioned. But I hadn’t reached any firm ground. And although I had built up a decade of teaching experience and completed my dissertation, I was quickly slipping from any ground gained. All in all, I had created a world of distractions for myself that didn’t need to be. Patanjali and Carrera: you really get me.
Of course, what would this spiritual guide be if it couldn’t tell me what and how to rise up out of the mire and head somewhere? (Actually it would still be really enlightening.) This leads me to the second sutra I find so helpful: Continue reading “Confessions of the Yoga Sutras: Guidelines for Life by Elisabeth Schilling”
Feminism and Religion 