Solitary Marriage by Esther Nelson

esther-nelsonI’ve been married for most of my life.  Marriage, along with all our institutions, is influenced by and therefore takes shape from the culture/society in which it exists.  When I got married, I had certain expectations that I’d absorbed from my environment.  Attaining “marital bliss” by achieving an indistinguishable oneness with my spouse was part and parcel of it all.  Popular thought tells us that marriage (especially heterosexual marriage) brings about the completion of two individuals.  How often do we hear about people searching for, and sometimes finding, a person they label as their soulmate?  People seem to long for that one human being they think will make them happy.

I recently picked up Rainer Maria Rilke’s (Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist, 1875-1926) short book, LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET, and found his thoughts about marriage liberating.  A few months after he married Clara Westhoff he wrote, “I am of opinion that ‘marriage’ as such does not deserve so much emphasis as has fallen to it through the conventional development of its nature.  It never enters anyone’s mind to demand of an individual that he be ‘happy’,–but when a man marries, people are much astonished if he is not!” Continue reading “Solitary Marriage by Esther Nelson”

In the Beginning by Natalie Weaver

Natalie Weaver editedDear Friends,

Every year on New Year’s Eve, I read creation stories to my family.  We light candles, sit in a circle, eat, drink, and read.  This little ritual began as my protest to the vulgar commercialization of the New Year and the ponderous weight of trying to be/do/achieve something new every twelve months.  Last year, I discovered, however that I felt like the ancient creation myths and the new ways of bringing in the new year messaged similar things.  I wrote about it in my blog post from January 2015, committing to write my own creation myth to read this year.  I like where it is going… even this little exercise is causing me to think differently about sacred literature.  I am becoming Inspired, I gasp to myself, to write my own Scripture, my own sacred truth.  Here’s what I’ve got so far.  I hope you enjoy it.  Happy New Year!

Sirius in the Sky1 The beginning could not be reckoned in the time before time was reckoned.  2 For, what was had yet to know itself, and it could not know itself alone.  3 But, for its love, it could not be known.  So it was that the beginning that could be reckoned was not the beginning but the beginning of loving, which was the beginning of knowing, which was the beginning of being.  4 And, in that beginning, a great ellipsis had already become of particle and light, and the particle and light thrummed through darkness forming a whole body.  5 Of the great ellipsis of particle and light, a body and a body and a body were formed, in and of the great ellipsis, thrumming through darkness.  6 The thrumming ellipsis pushed forward so far that its particle and light extended beyond itself and then beyond itself and then beyond itself, as though it were to separate, but it did not.   7 A whole body was formed, which was the beginning of the simultaneity of what was and what is and what will have been.  Continue reading “In the Beginning by Natalie Weaver”

Howl: A Mashup Story by Barbara Ardinger

Barbara ArdingerHowl!

For centuries, the wolves were the lords of the forests, ruling wisely and carefully culling the herds of the dumber animals, which actually helped to preserve many species. The wolf packs, led by their alpha females, worked to maintain the balance established by Great Mother Earth. But now a new predator was coming into the forests. Men were cutting down trees and making farms and towns and cities. They were forgetting the stewardship assigned to them by Great Mother Earth, upsetting the natural balance, making enemies of the wild creatures.

wolf

Something had to be done to save the wild places and the wild creatures. The great wolf packs called a World Parliament of Lupine Peoples, which met in a secret location in Mitteleuropa. The werewolves who attended had their own breakout session later in the week, but the men who cast wolf whistles at young women were chased away, as were all wolves in sheeps’ clothing and all wolves of Wall Street. Although there was some discussion about admitting the medieval English queens called she-wolves after a queen in one of Shakespeare’s plays (if you’re curious, it’s in Henry VI, Pt. 3), they were admitted because they were intelligent, brave, and cunning women. The Princess Lupa, stepmother of Romulus and Remus, was a special guest.

Continue reading “Howl: A Mashup Story by Barbara Ardinger”

Popeye as Deity by Barbara Ardinger

Barbara Ardinger

If you’ve read any of my posts here (or my books), you know that I’m not a friend of the fellow I call the standard-brand god. This is the “man upstairs” who goes by such names (in alphabetical order) as Allah, El Shaddai, Jehovah, and Yahweh. He’s the guy who’s snoopier than Santa Claus—he knows when we’re sleeping, when we’re awake, when we’ve been bad or good, and what we’re doing in any state of consciousness. At least that’s what his priests and preachers tell us. His holy books were written by men and his stories are told from the male point of view. (But how did Ruth and Esther get in the canon?) He has priests, but no priestesses that I know of, and even the named angels are male. I mean no disrespect to people who honor this god, but he’s just not my kind of deity.

But hark! There is a charming fellow. We all know him. Continue reading “Popeye as Deity by Barbara Ardinger”

Gretchen at Her Spinning Wheel by Natalie Weaver

Natalie Weaver editedIn my continuing music education, I was recently introduced to Schubert’s Gretchen am Spinnrade (hear, for example, Renee Flemming’s performance of this work). The song is a setting of Goethe’s poem “Gretchens Stube,” in which Gretchen, a poor but upright maiden, sits alone in her room at the wheel, thinking longingly of Faust. Gretchen spins her mind and her threads on the cusp of ruin.

Faust desires Gretchen and with the help of his demonic wingman Mephistopheles (to whom he has bartered his soul in exchange for worldly favors), Faust has laid a trap to seduce Gretchen. Faust eventually gives Gretchen a sleeping potion to administer to her mother so he can come to Gretchen at night undisturbed. Contrary to the assurances of Faust, the potion kills Gretchen’s mother, even as Gretchen is conceiving a child from the illicit union, with the voyeur-devil panting in the wings. Gretchen’s enraged soldier-brother is subsequently fatally wounded in a brawl over the sordid matter, living just long enough to tell Gretchen exactly what he thinks of her. Destitute, Gretchen drowns her illegitimate child, is imprisoned, and dies burdened with grief. In Goethe’s Faust, Gretchen is ultimately saved because she was once so stainless a figure and in her failings became so sufficiently penitential. Stripped of her name and transformed as una poenitentium, her soul re-appears in the final scene of the second act of the tragedy among the choir of angels receiving Faust in his own redemption, who, by those same angels, is himself bewilderingly whisked away from the clutches of a very confused Mephistopheles.

Leaving off for the time being the interesting and important question of men writing women’s stories, the whole of Faust, and specifically Gretchen’s song within it, engaged me in a feminist religious critique in ways I found counter-intuitive. On one level, I could not help but read Faust as a Promethean sort of hero. Here you have an accomplished scholar who is simply exhausted by the futility of his work, and especially the shortcomings of theology. He is seeking empirical knowledge from any place that it can at last be found. Minus his grandiose local stature, he kind of reminds me of myself (and lots of other academicians in theology who have glimpsed religious faith and myth in their most tiresome and dangerous social distortions). I incline to commend Faust for entertaining the background, the darkness, the animal, the bodily, the elemental, the unspeakable – for, that is also classically the “feminine,” yes? Continue reading “Gretchen at Her Spinning Wheel by Natalie Weaver”

Stories for (Re)creation in the New Year by Natalie Weaver

Natalie Weaver editedTwo New Years’ Eves ago, I came to the realization that I did not need to watch the television countdown to ring in midnight and begin the New Year.  I had always watched the show with my family as a child, and even while it made me feel curiously bad, I still somehow felt like it was an obligatory component of the day, right up there with kisses, well wishes, blowers, horns, and sparkling wine.  Since we seldom went to an actual New Year’s party, it was a way of connecting with the world.  I gave it up, though, when I ultimately deemed the musical guests and hosts to be unviewable.

I was not looking to make a new tradition per se that year when I decided to light a hunk of myrrh in the fireplace.  The myrrh had come to me as a gift in a Three Kings Christmas set.  It made a pretty decent blaze because I had placed it atop a bed of shallow candle wax from an old votive candle.  Let me say, while it smelled lovely and burned a long time, I do not recommend doing this – the fire became alarmingly vigorous for a little while.  Anyway, I spread a cloth on the floor and set out some food, calling my family together to sit in a circle by the hearth.  We dimmed the lights, and by fire I read the Epic of Gilgamesh (with some tasteful PG 13 edits) from 11:00 pm until 1:00 am.  I had been reading great epics to the kids, and it seemed somehow appropriate to return to Babylon that year.  We did not mark the New Year at a precise moment but rather sailed into it on the tides of an ancient tale.  It was a revelation to us all, mostly because we were reclaiming that night from the media usurpers who had defined it for us for most of our lives.

This year, we intended to do something similar until we ended up throwing an impromptu party for some friends and their children.  I knew they would all have limited interest in my second annual fire reading, so we just fed them and eventually counted down the final moments of 2014 on my watch.  But, after they left, we returned to the myth, this time reading the Babylonian Epic of Creation.  We hit the mark, as the story itself was ritually performed at each New Year.  It carried us deep into the first day of 2015 and was also a great revelation. Continue reading “Stories for (Re)creation in the New Year by Natalie Weaver”

Whose God is it, Anyway? by Esther Nelson

esther-nelsonI do not attend church (or any “house of worship”) regularly anymore.  However, one hot, humid, Sunday morning this past August, I wended my way to St. Mark’s Episcopal to hear my friend, Dale, preach.  He does “pulpit supply” there (his home church) occasionally.  Dale earned an MFA (Master of Fine Arts) in creative writing after finishing his seminary studies.  He’s written a one-man play titled “Jesus Phreak” and has performed it in churches and universities nationwide.  Dale and I have been friends for a decade or so.  He identifies as a Christian, but he’s not like any Christian I’ve ever known.

Church is familiar to me.  I was born to Protestant, missionary parents who “served the Lord” in Buenos Aires, Argentina, after graduating from Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, Illinois.  My parents had a “special burden” for Jews and worked to bring them to “the knowledge of Jesus Christ.”  In other words, they sought to convert Jews to Christianity–not just any Christianity, but the specific Christianity my parents believed in–a literal, “fundamental” understanding of Scripture made popular by Dwight L. Moody (1837-1899) and Cyrus I. Scofield (1843-1921).

I was raised on church and Sunday School, attending three services every Sunday for years.  Later on, as a young adult in the United States, I added Wednesday night prayer meeting, heeding a pastor’s adage: “Those who love the church come on Sunday morning, those who love the pastor come on Sunday evening, but those who love the Lord come on Wednesday night.”  I did not stop my regular church attendance (non-denominational, Baptist, Presbyterian, Reformed Episcopal, and just plain Episcopal–in that order) until well into my 40s.  By then, I could no longer contort myself to fit the mold “church” demanded from me. Continue reading “Whose God is it, Anyway? by Esther Nelson”