Community – Feminism and Religion

From the Archives: And the Pies! Ongoing Grateful Thanks for Tradition by Marie Cartier

This post was originally published November 24, 2018.

In November 2017 I wrote about pie baking.

And in November 2015 I also wrote about pie baking.

In November 2016, I was destroyed by the “election” and wrote a post in November of that year “For Strong Women” just to help many of us keep going.

Lessons in Community at the Lily Pond by Carolyn Lee Boyd

On a recent tranquil Sunday afternoon I was wandering around a lily pond in a nearby botanical garden, fully immersed in that liminal time between summer’s outbursts of nature’s abundance and the peaceful contentment of fall. The late goldenrod and delicate white wood asters danced a hued duet in the wind among the turtleheads and cardinal flowers, while hydrangeas shifted from white to the vibrancy of their last red passion. The lilies in the pond poked their heads above the water while frogs lay in repose on the pads. They were joined on nearby logs by a family of turtles, parents on one side and two babies on the other, close enough for security but far enough to enjoy some independence. A long dark brown watersnake was curled up unmoving on a boulder. All seemed to be basking in the sun, napping now and then. Around the pond were wanderers like me and human caretakers, silently tending to wildflowers and trees and occasionally stopping to watch if one of the beyond-human inhabitants plopped into the water for a little late afternoon swim.

Of course, I also knew that the peacefulness of this snapshot moment would not last forever because what do watersnakes eat? Frogs, fish and other beings that live around ponds. And what do frogs and fish eat? Insects, snails, and other beings, and so on up and down the food chain. But even this is part of the wholeness of the pond, as each being fulfills its place in the cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth so that all of us can, in our own time, enjoy these short times of contentment living on the face of our magnificent planet.

NO Kings Day Protest – Lakewood, CA by Marie Cartier

Note – usually we have a Carol Christ Legacy post on Mondays. Today we have a post in the spirit of the elections taking place this week across the United States.

October 18, 2025

Largest single day protest in US history- over 7 million people- 2700 + gatherings

P.s. That’s my wife in the inflatable bear costume– NO KINGS and YES ON 50!

NO KINGS Day June 14, 2025 by Marie Cartier

#nokings #nokingsday
Many actions took place in Southern California. I participated in one which was so unusual and historic I want to share it with you all on FAR.

My wife and I and friends stood and protested in Seal Beach, CA and then drove through 1000s and 1000sof people lining both sides of Pacific Coast Highway for 30 miles from Seal Beach to Dana Point. I was up through the moon roof screaming “NO KINGS!” for hours!

Census in Times of Fear by Xochitl Alvizo

I received a notice from the U.S. Census Bureau recently that I was randomly selected to complete the “American Community Survey.” It came as a letter at first with instructions to complete the survey online. A few days later I received another letter saying “A few days ago, you should have received a letter from the U.S. Census Bureau asking me to complete the American Community Survey,” with big bolded letters that my “response is required by law.” I have since then received follow-up post-card reminders, a physical form survey with the same bolded message, and another post-card that they have sent repeated requests to complete the survey.

Be A Friend: A Conversation on Self-Care by Mary Gelfand & Rev. Bernadette Hickman Maynard

Mary:
Like many of you, I struggle to balance spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being in these chaotic times. As women, we’re conditioned to prioritize others—family, work, community—while systemic injustices demand our energy daily. It’s like Sisyphus pushing his boulder: exhausting, endless. But rediscovering the FRIEND acronym, created by Reverend Bernadette Hickman Maynard, helped me reframe self-care and I wanted to share this with my FAR community. Bernadette, how did this concept come to you?

Bernadette:
In December 2023, I was the pastor of a church, deputy director of a community organizing nonprofit, mom to four kids, and a wife. My body rebelled and I had pain in five areas, dizziness, heart palpitations, panic attacks. I’d cry uncontrollably. I was burned out. Finally, I took six weeks off from everything. During that time, I realized I couldn’t fight for others’ liberation while sacrificing my own. So I created FRIEND—six practices to reclaim my joy – and determined to “be a FRIEND to myself” every day.

Mary:
Your story resonates deeply. We’re rarely taught to prioritize ourselves and pay attention to our physical and emotional needs. There’s always another task that seems to take priority over self-care and it’s easy to burn-out. How does Be A FRIEND work?

Long Live Queer Nightlife! by Amin Ghaziani – Book Review by Marie Cartier

I was invited to be on a panel for the Pacific Sociological Association (PSA) in San Francisco this past March for a new book by Amin Ghaziani, Long Live Queer Night life (Princeton University Press, 2024).

Since I wrote Baby, You Are My Religion – Women, Gay Bars, and Theology Before Stonewall and have discussed aspects of this work here I thought the FAR family would also enjoy this conversation on where queer nightlife is now.

The book is interspersed with visits to club nights, something Ghaziani says helps widen the possibilities for communities—different communities can have their own nights and these chapters where he visits these various hot spots are exciting and first person.

#SHARE THEIR STORIES by Janet Maika’i Rudolph

I was walking along the street the other day thinking about the comforts I find at home, my favorite tee-shirt, the three or four books I’m reading at a time, photos of loved ones. Around that time, I heard the news that Rümeysa Öztürk, a Turkish PhD student at Tufts who was whisked off the street by ICE agents in Massachusetts. She disappeared into the system until she showed up in detention in Louisiana. This is the facility that has been called “a black hole” by civil rights groups. So many have been swept off the street, how do we keep track? Ozturk had a valid student visa until the State department revoked it without notice nor telling her. She was on her way to break her Ramadan fast with friends. After her arrest she asked for food, not having eaten for 13 hours. She was given snacks. She still hadn’t eaten a meal by the next day and was feeling faint. She was given more snacks.

I began thinking, who are her friends? What was she going to eat? In fact, what are her favorite foods? In other words, who is she as a person. Her name is foreign, she comes from another country so it might be too easy to dismiss her as one of many. But if we know her story, if we humanize her, her story becomes harder to dismiss. The first step in the authoritarian playbook is to dehumanize people for some feature of who they are. When someone is dehumanized, it is far easier to do hateful things.

The antidote is to know their stories, share their stories, speak their stories.

Showing Up, by Molly M. Remer

When we return home, I see a meme on social media that says: “Ten minutes online will show you everything that is wrong with the world. Ten minutes outside will show you everything that is right.” I think about the students and professors, each one alight with enthusiasm, with passion, for their work, their projects, their art, the contributions they are making. This is what we need. We need to see, spend time with, and BE people who are involved, connected, committed, and passionate. People who are creating instead of destroying. People who are connecting instead of controlling. People who are reaching out to offer what they can, who create and care, and who show up.

We may let connections thin
and interests slide,
forgetting that it takes work
to nurture and tend
to what we love,
that following what is easy
can be the wrong direction,
one that eventually leads
to the withering of what we value
and to the shrinking of our worlds.
We must evaluate the balance
between effort and ease,
yes,
but let us remember
that both are essential to thriving.
Let us lean into effort sometimes,
when there is meaning on the line,
put our backs into it,
feel sweat on our brows
and the satisfaction that comes
from choosing to immerse ourselves
in wholehearted living,
in presence,
in the work of reaching out
and holding on.

This past weekend, I went to my oldest son’s next college campus. The green spaces were filled with students working on art. The halls of the buildings were lined with art by high school students there for a visiting show. The art gallery was filled with diverse works of many mediums. The speakers for the day were filled with enthusiasm for their subjects, talking about study abroad trips to Paris and being part of the chorus or the band. We pass the student theater, abuzz with activity, and listen to a young man playing rippling tunes on the piano in the atrium of the library. This school is in a rural Missouri farming community, where we passed tractors laden with hay on the potholed road. Their mascot is a mule (“the only college with live mascot in Missouri!” they proudly report. The mule’s name is Molly, so I like her right away). Missouri is a “red state” and yet the students handed me the school paper with a front page story about protests at the capitol and a large color photo of someone holding an “Impeach Elon” sign. I happily picked up a library button proclaiming “libraries are for everyone” and another saying “what’s more punk than a library?” as well as snagging a “plant queer” sticker from the LGTBQ+ alliance table for my sister. The History table gives me a bookmark reading: “Don’t make me repeat myself.” –History

“Not Like Us” by Marie Cartier

I walk my dog at night—usually after midnight I walk in my neighborhood with my dog, Zuma, a dead ringer for Toto from the Wizard of Oz. We are both quiet. I have a small flask of chardonnay I keep in my breast pocket. I might photograph the moon. I might do Wordle and send my result to my wife. Answer a few emails, but I don’t stay on the phone.

I say my “gratitudes” out loud – at least ten of them before I even look at my phone…I say, “I’m grateful for…” (fill in the blank)—the fact that my truck has a moon roof, and I opened it on the way home; My wife is cooking chicken soup; I saw a former student at the coffee shop; I wrote the web footnotes to chapter 12 of the 2^nd ed. of my book; due to the publisher this spring – these are all real gratitudes I said out loud yesterday.