I have always been old by association. My husband is nine years older than I am, and so for most of our life together I have lived a little ahead of my own age, attending to the questions of the next decade before I reached it. I never minded. In truth, I think I was born looking forward to growing old.
I grew up surrounded by elders who were accomplished and gifted people, men and women whose wisdom shaped the way I saw the world. Chief among them was my Savta, my grandmother. She initiated me into a Kabbalah tradition that had been passed down through her mother-line, from woman to woman, across generations. I watched her and I knew what I wanted: to grow up to be just like her, wise, kind, gifted, and fully present to the world as it is. With elders like her around me, aging never looked like something to fear. It looked like something to anticipate with joy.
Continue reading “Becoming the Elder I Hoped to Be by Rabbi Nadya Gross”


About six months ago I was hired to write a curriculum for a Jewish organization on biblical women in ancient and contemporary midrash. Midrash—the ancient process of creative interpretation of sacred text that began two thousand years ago and continues to this day—has been one of my fields of expertise, and women in midrash is a particular specialty. I knew the first lesson I wrote would be on Eve (Chava in Hebrew), the first woman of Genesis. Yet as I began to write lessons, I started with Sarah and Hagar, then proceeded to Rebekah and Lot’s wife, Rachel and Leah, even Asnat (Joseph’s wife) and Naamah (Noah’s wife). It became clear over the months that I was avoiding Eve. Whenever I began to think about beginning “her” lesson, I grew anxious and immediately began to think of something else. Only when I had already written six of my ten lessons did I finally, reluctantly, begin to research ancient legends and modern feminist poems on the first foremother of the Bible.
This week’s Torah parshah is Vayera (Genesis 18:1– 22:24). The parshah contains the the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, the questionable hospitality of Lot, the incestual sexual relationships between a drunken Lot and his daughters, the revelation of Sarah’s pregnancy, the birth of Issac, the expulsion of Hagar and Ishmael from Abraham’s family, and the legendary story of the binding of Isaac. Needless to say, there is much that can be said, but today I want to focus on the women from Lot’s and Abraham’s families.