Feeling Squeezed by Esther Nelson

Tyler Foggatt, associate editor of The New Yorker magazine’s, “The Talk of the Town series,” recently contributed (March 23) an essay titled “Cooped Up.”  She notes that China, the first country to shut down due to COVID-19, is now in the process of opening up.  More than ten million people in Xi’an, the capital of Shaanxi Province, were under lockdown.  She writes, “When restrictions were eased, earlier this month, the city’s [Xi’an] divorce rate spiked.”  Marital conflicts, often existing underneath the radar, bubble to the surface and sometimes explode during periods of quarantine (forced togetherness).

According to Foggatt, American psychologist Lawrence Birnbach predicts that the divorce rate in the U.S. will rise as the current pandemic unfolds.  Two of his patients, married to each other and self-quarantined together, reported they have argued more than ever, mostly having to do with how thoroughly (or not) one person washes their hands and wipes down surfaces.

I think many of us can relate to this.  Long before the current health crisis developed, my spouse and I went about our lives quite differently.  At times we clashed.  Keeping our distance from each other—even before social distancing became the “right” thing to do—was effective inasmuch as that strategy kept things from boiling over, at least most of the time. Continue reading “Feeling Squeezed by Esther Nelson”

Say it with Music by Esther Nelson

Daniel Deitrich, a worship leader in South Bend City Church, a “Jesus-centered community” in South Bend, Indiana, isn’t the first evangelical Christian to go up against fellow evangelical Christians who support the current U.S. president.  Perhaps, though, he’s the first to author a hymn as a scathing rebuke to those 81% of white evangelicals who voted for Trump in the 2016 presidential election and those who continue to uphold him.

Here are the lyrics to Deitrich’s hymn: Continue reading “Say it with Music by Esther Nelson”

Back Home? by Esther Nelson

It’s between semesters and as I’ve done for the past three or four years, I’m back in Las Cruces, New Mexico, for the winter break.  I only spend a month here at this time of year and find myself thinking about the time I’ll move here permanently if things go according to plan.

I don’t feel at home in Las Cruces—at least, not yet.  I attend many of the local functions and gatherings advertised in “The Las Cruces Bulletin” such as plays, music programs, art openings at various galleries, the popular Mercado (outdoor market) every Saturday morning, and the public library’s book club.

Every time I’m out here, I plan a couple of trips to nearby attractions—White Sands National Park, The Gila Wilderness, Santa Fe, Carlsbad Caverns National Park, and the hot springs in Truth or Consequences.  I’ve also explored the nearby cities of Deming and Silver City.  On this visit, I drove to Columbus, New Mexico, and walked across the border to Palomas, Mexico.  (This is not a busy border crossing.)  Tourists can have lunch at The Pink Store and browse the shop for Mexican crafts.  There are several dental clinics and optometry offices in the area where some Americans go to have dental work and eye examinations for approximately half the cost of those services in the U.S.

I also spent a couple of days in Saguaro National Park near Tucson, Arizona, walking among the cacti—an interesting experience.  I learned that Saguaro cacti only grow in the Sonoran Desert—Arizona, California, and Mexico.  The cacti, if they develop arms at all, don’t do so until they’re at least 75 years old. Continue reading “Back Home? by Esther Nelson”

Would You Rather Just Not Be? by Esther Nelson

When I was in my late teens, my mother became friendly with Beth, a woman she occasionally worked with on the post-partum unit of the local hospital.  Beth had two children a little younger than I, however, when our moms got together outside of the workplace, we (the kids) sometimes found ourselves thrust together.  

I don’t recall how the conversation began on this particular day, but Beth’s children were complaining (within earshot of their mother) about life.  They were sour on the experience. “You’re born and then you die.” They didn’t seem to have much enthusiasm for the possibilities available to them before death.  Their mother asked them, “Would you rather just not be?” Their answer, an unequivocal “YES,” surprised me. It resonated with my own feeling at the time—one that I had not dared articulate. Continue reading “Would You Rather Just Not Be? by Esther Nelson”

Mini-Reunion by Esther Nelson

A couple of weekends ago, Nancy, one of my classmates from nursing school, organized what she called a “mini-reunion” at her home in New Jersey.  Seven of us gathered together to well, reunite.  Our graduating class (Muhlenberg Hospital School of Nursing, Plainfield, N.J.) was small.  We started out with forty students—all women.  Only twenty of us made it to the finish line.  One of our fellow graduates, Marcia, died a few years ago.  Two or three of the initial forty students dropped out due to health problems, but were able to graduate a year later with the following year’s class.  Some students were asked to leave the program because they could not cut it academically or clinically.  Others decided they didn’t “belong” in nursing and quit.

These are the nurses that gathered for the “mini-reunion.”  Starting at the left: Lois, May, Esther, Carol Lee, Nancy, Chris, and Joyce. Continue reading “Mini-Reunion by Esther Nelson”

The Dying Time by Esther Nelson

At the end of Anita Diamant’s novel, THE RED TENT, Dinah—the same young woman who is only briefly mentioned in the biblical account (Genesis 34)—dies after a long and full life.  The biblical text tells us that Dinah “went out to visit the women of the region” and that “Schechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the region, saw her…seized her and lay with her by force” (vss. 1-2).  The passage is often titled “The Rape of Dinah.”

In Diamant’s version of the story, Dinah and King Hamor’s son engage in consensual sex.  In keeping with the biblical account, the king then attempts to negotiate a bride price with Jacob (Dinah’s father), but Jacob and his sons are reluctant to agree to the marriage.  They demand soon thereafter that all the men in Hamor’s kingdom undergo circumcision as a bride price.  On the third day after surgery, the sons steal into the city and kill the men.

After just a mere mention of Dinah’s “rape” in Genesis 34, she disappears from the story.  In THE RED TENT, Diamant not only gives Dinah a powerful voice, she also weaves a wonderful tale of mothers, daughters, heartache, betrayal, loss, love, and joy.  Dinah gives birth to her lover’s son in Egypt, develops a strong bond and working relationship with the midwife, Meryt, and eventually falls in love with Benia, a master carpenter.

Continue reading “The Dying Time by Esther Nelson”

Giving Up What You Do Not Have by Esther Nelson

I grew up within Christianity—one of the faiths that many religious scholars label as a Western tradition.  It can be difficult at times to wrap my head around religious concepts and symbols labeled by those same religious scholars as Eastern traditions.  Judaism, Christianity, and Islam come under the rubric of Western traditions while Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Jainism are categorized as Eastern traditions.

Years ago I came across Diana Eck’s book, Encountering God  A Spiritual Journey from Bozeman to Banaras.  In the Preface, Eck writes: “I am a student, scholar, and teacher of the comparative study of religion. My academic specialization is the Hindu tradition….”  Throughout her work, she explores the meaning of “God.” “What if,” she asks, “the names and forms of…God are many, limited only by our human capacity to recognize them?” Continue reading “Giving Up What You Do Not Have by Esther Nelson”

Bent on Kindness by Esther Nelson

Recently, with some fear and trepidation, I underwent spinal surgery.  When the surgeon visited me the day after my operation, he assured me that the procedure was a success, even though it will take several weeks to ascertain whether or not the surgery relieved my symptoms.  Healing from such a procedure takes time.

I have nothing but praise for the dozens of people responsible for my care during my six-day hospitalization.  Nurses, nursing care helpers, my surgeon along with the team in the operating suite, doctors-in-training, physical therapy workers, occupational therapy people, cleaning personnel, and the folks who regularly brought me healthy and delicious meals—all of them were respectful, empathetic, and kind.  And they were not kind just to me.  I overheard several hospital employees reply thoughtfully and considerately to a pugnacious patient in the room next to mine.

Continue reading “Bent on Kindness by Esther Nelson”

Beaches and Books by Esther Nelson

Even though I’ve traveled and lived throughout much of the world, I’ve never thought of any one place or geographic location as home.  I have always felt a little envious of people who claim to have a strong, visceral connection to a particular house, garden, village, landscape, or city in a specific, geographic area.

We often use the word home to indicate a space where we feel accepted, safe, nurtured, loved, and at peace.  Although I’ve never sunk deep roots anywhere I’ve lived—or even visited—I feel most grounded when standing on a sandy beach anywhere in the world, overlooking an expansive view of the ocean.  Perhaps the cowboys in American folklore and legend felt “home, home on the range where the deer and the antelope play,” but I don’t.  I am much more at ease with home, home on the beach where the wind swirls the water and sand.

I often hear the beach calling me.  Sometimes I listen and allow myself to fall under her spell and into her fluid embrace.

Continue reading “Beaches and Books by Esther Nelson”

Surviving My Recovery by Esther Nelson

For the past fourteen months, I’ve been going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what ails me.  Specialists I’ve seen included wonderfully competent people immersed in their individual disciplines of nephrology, cardiology, rheumatology, and neurology.  At long last, the neurologist diagnosed my condition (accurately, I believe), and I’m slated to have surgery in July.

I’m overjoyed to finally have a diagnosis, with a positive prognosis no less, offered to me.  My everyday life has become more and more constricted over this past year.  I can’t walk far without pain.  I can’t stay in one position for long without pain.  I can’t practice yoga without pain.  I can’t do those everyday chores—grocery shopping, vacuuming, laundry, scrubbing the bathroom, and washing dishes—without pain.  Pain wakes me throughout the night as I attempt to sleep.

I do have concerns about how well I’ll tolerate the upcoming surgical procedure, but am even more concerned about my recovery period.  For six weeks after the procedure:  No lifting.  No bending.  No twisting.  No exercise except for frequent, short walks.  How will I ever manage?

Continue reading “Surviving My Recovery by Esther Nelson”