My Powers are Growing:  Are Yours? by Caryn MacGrandle

When I first found the Goddess and Women’s Spirituality almost a decade ago, my change and growth was painful.  I hosted Women’s Circles, and often, they veered a tad towards venting but with self-realization and a determination to do better. 

I did.  And I watched the others in the Circles do so as well.

Powerful stuff.  And it made me a believer in the strength of coming together while retaining our individual will and paths.

I am a different person today for all those Circles.  They changed me in ways that no amount of counseling, journaling or pharmaceuticals ever could.

Community.  Support. 

I say that and for the first time in almost a decade, I am doing the least amount of Circles ever. 

I’m waiting on instructions from Mom, you see. 

Meanwhile, every day, I meditate, I go to nature and I journal.

The other week on the Full Moon Scorpio Lunar Eclipse, I felt some powerful shifts.

The night after, I was surfing Netflix and started watching “Outlast”, a nature reality show about sixteen ‘Lone Wolf’ people dropped off in Alaska with no rules but to form groups and then be the last ones standing. 

I am a fan of the “Alone” series from the History channel.  I like to see people’s comfort levels and attitudes in nature.  I realize there is editing involved, but I observe how Nature gives them the lesson they are asking for

For instance, the Louisiana man who never leaves his house unarmed and who feels naked without all of his weapons, he was attacked by a dog growing up and so has a severe phobia of dogs.  What do you think makes a visit his first night? A pack of wolves on the ridge above his tent.

This happens again and again. Nature handing you your worst fear.  And if they planned this on the ‘reality’ show, kudos to them as it is quite amazing to watch.  Not only this power of attraction, but also the power of gratitude. 

The winners?  They have a ‘give and take’ with the Land. They are full of gratitude for the food She provides, and they spend time figuring out how to live with the Land that they find themselves in.

Back to the new series “Outlast”. When I saw towards the end of the first show, that it was going to veer towards lower human instincts, I lost interest.

Two of the women decide that in order to ‘win’ they will make life miserable for the other teams and set about stealing sleeping bags, wrecking other camps and doing whatever they can to make life harder for the other teams.

Normally, this would make me angry, sad and worried for us as humans.

But I find it is not.

If they knew better, they would do better. Somehow this week, I have woken up with the understanding of a mother watching toddlers on the playground. 

If they understood that by hurting others, they are ultimately hurting themselves, they would behave better.

If they understood how we are all tied to each other and every single thing, they would learn to respect every other person and thing.

If they understood that when they are, as Abraham Hicks says, ‘tapped in, tuned in and connected’, the resulting feeling? Better than sex.  Better than drugs.  Better than anything you have ever felt.

It’s ‘dying’. 

I am thinking it is that feeling that people who have death experiences report having: peace, connection, Oneness. All is well.

Indescribable.

All of a sudden, I get this completely.

I even called my mother.

I haven’t talked to my mom, well basically since marriage number two ended a couple of years ago. I find her constant spoken or unspoken ‘be normal’ vibes highly irritating. 

But I find myself letting that go, too and accepting her for who she is.  My mother.  And I love her.

Because the bottom line is if ‘being normal’ is being like the rest of the world with their addictions, their pain, their depression, their materialism and their selfishness, no thank you.

I’m just going to get weirder.