Do I Feel Safe in America? by Marie Cartier

Do I feel safe in America- that’s what you want to know, right? Such a good question—and excuse me, but ridiculous. Four hundred and seventeen anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been introduced in state legislatures across the United States since the start of the year — a new record, according to the American Civil Liberties Union, as of April 2023.

I could on – but you get the idea.

I feel safe I guess in California, in my own home, in my own bed—but as a woman you rarely feel totally “safe.” Most every woman I know, me included, is a rape survivor. It’s not unusual– it’s common– but feeling safe I think is unusual. Feeling loved isn’t– but safe? That’s “a horse of a different color” as they say in Oz, and even Dorothy wasn’t safe there—although I continually wonder why she ever returned to Kansas.

Kansas is not as bad as one might think in the middle of the country, in the middle of the U-S of A. I feel safe when people can vote—and every vote counts and that’s what changed in Kansas with the abortion bill recently—women can still get abortions in Kansas, Dorothy– if you ever need one. At least for now.

I don’t know—do I feel safe? Safe: protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost. Hmm… no I don’t feel that—have never really felt that. Like I said, no woman I know feels that—and why should they? They are not safe—never have been. That’s the Barbie phenomena—when Barbie leave Barbie Land and comes to the Real World she realizes patriarchy is alive and well and hasn’t been destroyed as it has been in Barbie Land so every day is not “a great day.” In fact, a lot of days are hard. Patriarchy is a demoralizing drag.

I had a bracelet once that said “life is not made up of days —it is made up of moments.” So– let me clarify—do I feel safe? Yes, there are moments when I feel safe. I feel safe writing this knowing it will be heard by people who will listen and hear me out. There is also a lot of safety in that. I feel safe in my own body, at the beach, with my dog, with my wife—there are a lot of moments where I feel safe, when I feel safe. But not whole days, and certainly not in my life. But as they say, life is made up of moments.

As my mother used to say, “Life is hard—but what’s the alternative?”

So, life. Moments in a life.

Safety in moments. I’ll take it. What’s the alternative?

–With thanks to QUEERWISE Performance Group