Planting Seeds of Change by Nayeli Delgadillo

There are a lot of things that have led to both feminism and my spiritual path. One could say I am still at the start of my journey at 23 years old, and it may be true. I often meet people older than myself, and they are most surprised by two things; the age that I look versus the age that I am, and in that, the maturity of my thoughts. 

I grew up very much in communion with my family, living in a duplex with my extended family only a few feet away. Every month there is at least one birthday, and we  all come together Saturday, for the party, and Sunday for the recalentado (breakfast or brunch consisting of leftovers). It was on these Sunday’s that we would gather and talk about everything. The adults in the family didn’t keep us kids away from hard conversations, but instead included us. Conversations that included topics of racism, education, politics, science, war, religion etc. Me being the youngest cousin, before my sister was born (we are nine years apart), would always listen in and absorb, absorb, absorb. It wasn’t until middle school, and high school, where I was truly introduced to a more serious history of the world, that these conversations started to really unravel and make sense to me. It was toward this time my cousins were also in high school, or just finishing, and so, the conversations became more lively. I started to understand why we spoke about the things we spoke about, even when it seemed like no one else was. 

My grandfather at
Salton Sea Lake.

In school I learned American history, the history of where I live, but at home, I learned my history. “Esto es México, mija! Esta tierra es tuya!” this is our land, my grandpa would, and still says, it just has a different name. My grandfather never went to school, in fact he came to know numbers through his time working in Arizona, where he had to embarrassingly ask his co-worker what the number 11 meant or looked like. Yet, when I was taking AP history in highschool, and would come back with the stories of colonization and Mexico, he would seem to know the history even better. It amazes me how educated my grandfather is even now, at the age of 93, he has a hearty laugh, and a boastful voice to keep passing down his stories. It is through his storytelling that he gives his advice, and lessons, and it is from my grandfather that I have learned how much people can change. 

I can’t say my grandfather has always been a feminist, or that he would even consider himself such, but over twenty years ago, when my mom decided to become vegetarian, a lot of my family followed, including her parents. Both my grandparents on my mom’s side have over twenty years of being vegetarian after having eaten meat all their lives. In fact, one of the best stories we like to tell is when my grandpa went out into the streets to distribute DVD’s and flyers that showed animal cruelty in the industry, and educated people, all on his own. He and my grandmother, in their earlier lives in Mexico, would sell meat and would run a small-time slaughterhouse, so it was a drastic change in lifestyle for them. What could this specifically have to do with my grandfather being a feminist? 

We were blessed with my grandma’s
90th birthday this November.

My grandfather’s shift in mentality had a lot to do with the newfound value he saw in animals, and their innocent lives. In this same way my grandfather might have been brought up with older values, regarding women, but the reality he found in his marriage with my grandmother was another. When my grandpa speaks of my grandma, or about women now, he speaks of the ways that the old traditions and systems have tried to encapsulate women, and their potential. He has seen how hardworking and resilient my grandmother has been in her life, and when he speaks about her there is admiration in his eyes and voice. My grandmother is a very headstrong woman, who is so brave and resilient that it truly is scary, but also absolutely admirable. (She just turned 90!) 

My birthday this past June with both my lovely grandparents.

It is through conversations of the reality of the world, as well as the influences I grew up with, that most shaped my feminism. I grew up in an environment that allowed me to see the value not only in people, but in all living beings. 

Who Am I?

This is a mantra I often use during meditation, an exercise taught to me by my mother. It seems like a simple question, but we all know how difficult it can be to encompass all that makes up oneself. I’d argue that most of the time, most people don’t know the answer to the question themselves… more on that on my next post!

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12 thoughts on “Planting Seeds of Change by Nayeli Delgadillo”

  1. Thank you for this post, Nayeli. As a fellow vegetarian (wanna be vegan), I appreciate your grandfather’s transformative journey towards vegetarianism and feminism. The author, Carol Adams, has written several books including THE SEXUAL POLITICS OF MEAT. She brilliantly makes the connection between meat-eating and misogyny. Look forward to more of your posts!

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  2. Beautiful snapshot of your family Nayeli and I love how you discuss the process of coming to know yourself both as an individual and as a part of your family’s history and culture. Thank you for posting this, I look forward to your next installment.

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  3. I LOVED this post – Honoring your elders, steeped in RELATIONSHIP you demonstrate how we can be – how we can change – how critical those beginnings are…. Your grandparents’ dawning awareness regarding cruelty to animals MUST have a personal story behind it…Integrity has everything to do with not just how we are but how we can change…. can’t wait to read next installment! Thank you… Although I am not a vegetarian I went though a period where I ate no meat because I couldn’t deal with my love and dependence upon animals and how we treated them… today I call myself an omnivore owning that as an animal I eat other animals and plants to live – my lifetime relationship with nature has taught me that there are no easy solutions – what did me in finally was my love for plants – when I realized they felt pain too it was too much – I accepted being human – a reluctant predator. With that much being said I DO believe that eating as little meat as possible is utterly necessary because too much land is being stolen by cattle – of course the same could be said for agriculture – no way out with 9 billion people swallowing the planet whole.

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  4. Thank you for this lovely post, Nayeli, revealing so much about your delightful self and your inspiring, compassionate family. I can imagine you all celebrating all the birthdays, and the “recalentados”! A divine place for sharing thoughts and welcoming those of the young ones. You are fortunate, and your grandparents’ strength will live on in you!

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  5. Thank you for this amazing and wonderful post and sharing your delightful and wise family with us! I’ve been a vegetarian for about 40 years now and it has been transformative, giving me a completely different relationship to other living beings and the planet, so I can see how important it is to your family. What I especially love about this post is that it shows us a way that really works to make change in the world – by conversation, by discussing honestly tough topics, by being respect full of and learning from everyone’s life experience. That’s how people’s ideas and attitudes really transform. I look forward to more of your posts!

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  6. Nayeli, thank you for sharing this window on your family and your grandparents in particular. I want to know more. One of my teachers here in Canada Roy Henry Vickers taught me the mantra “You are the center of your family” to help us consider our possible power and responsibility. You embody his teachings.

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