A Lovely Self-Imposed Isolation by Deanne Quarrie

Deanne QuarrieWith everyone talking about it – I won’t.  Let’s just say that I am in the “at risk” population and have decided that staying home is my best protection against “it.”

Staying home is what I do most of the time. I am perfectly happy with that.  I live on my computer and in the evenings, I take a break as a “couch potato” and indulge in serial watching! I only have one neighbor who comes over and I am keeping him outside and at a 6-foot distance, as he has no sense and is exposing himself in many ways, even though he too, is high risk.

I have been working for a few years on the creation of a group practice that honors Hekate and occasionally Her companions, in ritual.  In my seminary, I have developed a Master of Divinity degree program with studies based on Her.  All throughout this active work, most has been in researching but also a great deal in writing. I seem to be even more productive in this isolated state. As I am not isolated online, I have been communicating with others and we seem to be “triggering” each other’s creativity. The term “falling down a rabbit hole” has taken on new meaning.  Not only am I falling down my own rabbit holes, I am falling down rabbit holes started by other people!

I have also spent time working in my garden, harvesting the rest of the winter crop to make way for the spring garden. Yesterday I brought in beets and carrots. I am still getting handfuls of peas and I am watching one head of cabbage, hoping the head will grow a bit more.

My herb garden is simply beautiful.  The garden sage is in bloom with shoots rising four feet off the ground with lovely blue/lavender blossoms. The oregano is looking thick and plush – colors now vibrant, having changed from the dull color of winter.  My mint and lemon balm are both rejuvenated and reaching out toward the warm sun of spring. Even the thyme, which was looking a bit haggard, has taken on new life. Iris are blooming in front of my apartment. They are white, planted long ago by some other resident.

I have enjoyed watching the trees come alive. First the ash tree that I call Hekate as she has three trunks and sits at a three-way crossroads of sidewalks. It is interesting in that she is the last to lose her leaves and the first to get them.  Now the cedar elm and the tallow trees have finally started leafing out -weeks after the ash.

I bought this lovely bird feeder. It is a glass dish, the glass itself a lovely transparent picture of brightly colored flowers. I hung it right on my front porch.  While the birds make a bit of a mess on my porch, it is worth it as I can watch the birds from my desk chair though the front door. Mostly they are little sparrows but now and then I see jays and a cardinal or two. And as always, the dove run around on the ground and eat what has spilled.

I spend time each day, except when it is raining, sitting in my side yard under Hekate. It is quiet and peaceful there.  We seem to have one squirrel who lives by our building.  I like watching him run from tree to tree and I laugh when he peeks around a branch above me and chatters down at me. I am not sure if he is attempting conversation or if he is angry at me for being in his space.

I have discovered, by sitting in this spot almost daily for three years, that I have become an observer of the seasons in my own back yard. I have come to know what grows and when it dies – when things bloom and when they are dormant.  I see what is flying about and when they are gone. There is serenity in that.

I am anxious to see how many of my fig tree cuttings have taken root.  That will be fun! If they haven’t, I know I can get more and do spring cuttings!

We have about ten feral cats in our apartment complex. Almost all of them live at the other end of the property but we have one who seems to stay close to our building.  She is a bit scruffy, what I think is a long-haired Siberian. Technically, we are not supposed to feed them, but I do leave food out for her.  I call her Gretchen. I can get about five feet from her but that’s as far as she will let me. Sometime Gretchen sits out by my garden when I do, and she doesn’t run away if I ignore her.

I am not too concerned for myself in this self-imposed isolation.  I thought if I could do curbside pickup for groceries, I would be fine. I received my Social Security payment this morning, so went to my local grocery online to place my order. Shocking discovery – it won’t be until a week from now that I can pick up my groceries.  I have plenty of food – just not want I want so I won’t starve but they took to money for that order out of my bank account which will prohibit me from even trying to find things sooner.  I left the order standing as even at Amazon Prime now, you cannot even schedule a delivery.  People used to accuse me of having scarcity issues as my freezer, refrigerator and pantry are always full.  But now I say – “that’s a good thing!”

So, there you have it.  My ramblings about isolation. I have been either writing about Her or simply enjoying Her. It is quite nice!


Deanne Quarrie, also known as Bendis, is a Priestess of The Goddess, and author of six books. She is the founder of the Apple Branch – A Dianic Tradition and the Liminal Thealogical Seminary.  In 2002 she created Global Goddess, a worldwide organization open to all women who honor some form of the divine feminine. Deanne is a priestess hierophant within the Fellowship of Isis. Her most recent work, dedicated to Hekate, is the creation of a group practice called Hekate’s Tribe, open to both men and women. It is available in Austin, Texas as well as online. Those who come to Hekate’s Tribe may also enroll in the master’s degree program within the Seminary. This creation brings Deanne full-circle after dedicating her work to Hekate in 1986.

Categories: Earth-based spirituality, General, Goddess Spirituality

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9 replies

  1. I don’t have a problem with California’s “Safe at Home” order. Like you, I mostly stay home anyway because I’m another of those “at-risk” people. And I like to be at home! I have so much art on my walls that you can hardly see the landlord’s icky whitish paint. I have books and DVDs and a friendly cat. And friendly neighbors. My neighbor next door is also at risk (COPD and a couple other things), so she and I check on each other. And I have windows so I can look out at my succulent gardens.

    Thanks for writing a cheery post today. I bet everyone needs to read it and learn from your examples of a few things we can do. Brava!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think I need a wall calendar so that I can tick off each day! Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Like you I am in the high risk category and also like you I am a writer… unfortunately I do not have the luxury of staying put – have to travel from NM to Maine next month which is quite scary…

    I love the way you take advantage of your natural surroundings… I love your picture – all that beloved deep green – my favorite pass time is watching what is happening all around me – and self imposed isolation doesn’t change the daily joys – the first lizard, and dandelion, the joy of being with my dogs and free flying bird, my plants, – the dawn meanders to the river – In so many ways I think that becoming a naturalist continues to save my life…my fascination with Nature keeps me anchored in the present, keeps me ever mindful – and yes, grateful for every day joys. Many blessings…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Well said, Sara!! My enjoyment of nature has pretty much been limited to my yard for several years. I was lucky enough to acquire a car last year after 7 years without one. But even with a car, I can drive to “nature” but my back injury and breathing issues keep me from walking into it. I have actually found much to observe by sitting in the same place day after day, season after season.


  5. Thanks for the lovely post, Deanne. I wish my garden was lush like yours, but I’m in Maine and the snow has just left my garden. I do have the woods behind my home to ramble in, and that is wonderful, especially now.


  6. Having woods behind your home is totally wonderful!


  7. On day 23 – still fine, enjoying my own isolation. I wanted to share that I have 4 cuttings of the fig tree that have sprouted leaves! Yea! They are officially trees!


  8. Dear Deanne, thank you for this, i find it inspiring! I too am high risk, and i enjoy my “vountary solitary confinement,” as I call it. You prompt me to do some more gardening, and plant some more herbs. I’m grateful for the work you do for the Goddess. Mara Lynn Keller


  9. Thank you! I am trying to find a vendor with herbs who delivers! I am needing the ones that are annuals like basil! Plus my mint and lemon balm aren’t doing well so want to start over with them! Love my herb garden!


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