Moderator’s Note: This was clearly written closer to the Thanksgiving holiday but we feel that it has a message that still holds strong.
Owens Cross Roads, Alabama. Long before Owen’s claimed his crossroads, the Land I live on was stewarded by the Shawandasse Tula, the S’atsoyaha Yuchi and the Cherokee.
We just got through another Thanksgiving an American holiday built on domination and patriarchy. Several years ago, I became vegetarian, but my adult son’s boss bought all his employees turkeys. An estimated 46 million turkeys give up their life every year so that we can celebrate our heritage as Pilgrims.
I cooked the turkey so that this one would not have given up its life in vain. I will make sure that my children who are still carnivores enjoy it.
I am grateful for the many animals who every day give up their lives so that we may live.
I slept most of the weekend. I have a new full-time contract starting in a week or two. In the military industrial complex town that I find myself living in, this job is not and is perfect for me. I feel a huge sense of relief.
I am grateful I will not have to spend my days doing work that goes against my soul.
Last night, I hosted a Circle. Its theme was on becoming a crone.
There is an old woman I am beginning to know
Out of the darkness and into the cave, I go
Death to me, the mother
Death to me, the girl
Honor to me, the wise old crone
Here to lead the world
My partner pointed out how our culture dismisses things as just ‘old wives’ tales’.
It is time that we give honor to our old wives’ tales.
There was only one other person who came to the Circle. But I don’t mind. It was wonderful. We discussed how our culture has made it a sign of status to have a big home: a big home that you then isolate yourself in, burying your human need for other humans in 24/7 Netflix, sugar, addictions, social media and our children’s planned expensive activities.
How many of us regularly have friends drop by and we spend the night talking and laughing without drugs or alcohol? How many of us still have children who go outside and play rather than sit with their nose in a smartphone?
I am grateful that I am building a life where I have close friends I can spend time with sober, laughing, singing, crying and being vulnerable.
It is a never-ending battle, but I am glad I am fighting the good fight in showing my kids it is still the small real life pleasures that matter in life not group texts and video games.
I am bombarded in my inbox by Cyber Monday deals, Giving Tuesday. Enough, I cry! Back Off Wednesday.
I am no longer grateful for the things our culture wants us to be grateful for: Black Friday deals, large homes, my kids affording Lululemon clothes, the prevalence and implied superiority of our white Christian culture in most parts of the world.
But I am ever so grateful for the things I am slowly replacing them with.
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I was concerned years back about eating meat my self before I became advised by a shaman I have deep respect for, the animals and plants are here for us, they are our allies. We have indeed lost our way and for too long now people have been going to town on plants and animals, reverence lost. My belief is that this is Gaia’s earth and everyone is just passing through, with hope this is done softly. It is interesting how people are having respect for their ancestors though they have no respect for elders, who will one day be their ancestors. This is just crazy to me! Perhaps one day soon we will learn to hold our elders up as, wise ones, we have a lifetime of learned wisdom.
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Hi Cate, just to be clear. I do respect my mother. I continually reach out to her. I agree about the animals and plants being here for our sustainment. What I do not agree with is the way they mass produce our animals for consumption. 100,000 chickens in a henhouse overfed and with artificial lighting so that they can be big enough to slaughter in six weeks. I want no part in that. Thank you for the comment.
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OMG Cate, I just realized I took your comment personally because I was confusing your comment with another article I had just written for a different site where I mentioned it has been years since I’ve seen my mother. Not my choice. I do my utmost to respect my elders <3.
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No problem, went right over my head, lol, by the way you sound like a whole lot of fun!
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Thanks Cate. <3
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I agree wholeheartedly Caryn. What I think is that most people have forgotten who they are, most do coming into physical form and yeah it is deeply painful to see what is going on on every level! I am not one for bashing white people especially white women. I think it would be wise for every woman to read Gyn Ecology by Mary Daly so much of what women are hearing and doing today is nonsense to me, Mary set those records straight in this book, it’s brilliant! Being Canadian I have seen firsthand what reverse discrimination does, filling people with resentment and hate, the only solution is oneness and we all need to get that, we are everyone.
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Caryn, what I love about this post is that you are showing exactly how to make change by demonstrating to your own children a better way of doing things while still respecting where they are. These one-to-one interactions can make such a difference but aren’t always recognized as social action. And I love that it didn’t bother you that only one person showed up at the circle. I always say that whoever shows up is who is supposed to show up, and you were clearly meant to have that more personal and intense conversation!
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Yes in agreement to all you said. Thank you for the comment. <3 Caryn
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