(Author’s note: I live in Prague, Czech Republic and teach at Charles University. Try as I might, I could not express in prose my thoughts about the violence in the world and particularly the violence here, in Prague, on the 21st of December, especially given the fact that I was a block away from what took place. So, I have written a poem instead.)
I swim through
the slimy waters of patriarchal violence
Difficult to express in words
the anxieties, the fear, the sadness
I feel as I take another stroke
towards
the parshah Bo (Exodus 10:1-13:6),
a divinely wrought plague of locusts
devouring all in their path.
Breathe,
stroke.
Darkness lasting three long days
blood smeared on doorposts and lintels
the deaths of first-borns, humans and animals alike,
the proclamation of a New Year and its festivities
to remind us of such nonsensical violence.
Breathe.
There is blood in the water.
Stroke.
War in Ukraine,
its war refugees living in the Czech Republic
without a set time to go home
their time here being continuously extended.
The water is redder!
A few Sundays ago, a Ukrainian-Czech Christmas market
organized by my partner’s work
carols, food, small gifts from those living within the war zone
and those here too.
This year Ukrainian Christians, living in the Czech Republic,
celebrated Christmas
on the same day as Czechs
breaking away, at least symbolically,
from the influence of Russia in their lives.
Breathe.
Stroke,
in the bloody waters
turning more red.
The massacre of Israelis committed by Hamas
the subsequent war in Gaza
the death tolls on both sides, the vitriol, the hate…
No foreseeable way to bring peace.
I have never felt more vulnerable.
The water
almost only blood now.
I find myself
drowning.
Can’t breathe,
fight again towards the surface
eventually gasping and coughing up blood.
I turn to float on my back,
when
the suicidal rampage of a Czech young man
at his university, my university,
where he was a ‘good’ student
killing 14 or more before turning the gun on himself.
Me, a block away as it was happening
How do I walk into a classroom again?
The bloody waters overwhelm me.
I sink to the bottom,
of the violence that surrounds me,
that threatens not just my very life but my feminist soul.
bell hooks once famously wrote
that patriarchy thrives on violence,
those deemed less than suffer the consequences.
While I don’t usually admit it,
I feel powerless
here
at the bottom of a dark abyss
of the sticky blood,
spilt to continue patriarchy.
I am defeated, hopeless
my thoughts turning to Sekhmet,
the Egyptian warrior goddess
head of a lion.
She was once so enraged from a murderous rampage
that she could not be stopped
wanting to gorge herself on more and more blood.
Eyes wild.
Focus singular.
Thoth, the Egyptian god of wisdom, consulted on her wrath.
“Dye all the beer red.”
Believing it blood, she drank deeply
becoming so drunk that her anger settled,
this goddess of healing.
Never again so violent.
Fear the rage of a woman,
while we live amongst murderous men.
Oh the irony, Sekhmet,
of the lengths they went to calm you.
Do you know how much I want to roar
and find patriarchy’s red beer, Sekhmet?
But, at my location at the bottom
of the blood
spilled by patriarchy,
I don’t know what it is.
I wish to the depths of my soul that I did.
feminismandreligion.com 
Brilliant Ivy. Poetry expresses far more than prose. Thank you for writing and sharing can I quote you?
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Thank you Carolyn. Yes, you may quote me.
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Sometimes the trauma runs so deep that only poetry can help us express the wounding. I shudder as I read feeling hell rising up – how much more someone in me cries – how much more violence can we stand. Powerful, thank you Ivy.
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Thank you for naming what you have witnessed Ivy, it is barely possible to swim through this darkness/madness, I know. Sadly I am witnessing our political puppets in Canada dancing for the deep state, WEF, UN, WHO and on and on and many of them are women, it’s so satanic! i am so sickened to see what people do for money, forget about power, authentic power is love not force! In the midst of all of this darkness/con, people are waking up and getting out of their bubble, it’s about time! I am deeply sickened by this violence and it is everywhere. My beloved city of Ottawa Ontario in Canada is scheduled to become a smart city hashtag, fifteen minute prison cell all of our crooked city councillors and mayor are working for the WEF, no surprises there! I hope you are sharing your poem with everyone, naming is a record we can hold in our hand like your incredible poem, named by courageous people like you who are not afraid to name. Unlike blaming, which keeps us in victim mode, naming creates awareness. Thank you so much for sharing Ivy.
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So powerful, thank you so much for your beautiful poem. I too feel saddened by recent events globally. Your poem resonated with me deeply. I am so glad you were OK in the recent shooting, it must have been horrible, for you, being part of Charles University! Thank you for sharing this with us.
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