33 Years of Wisdom by Chaz J.

As the celestial clock turns towards Sunday, April twenty-seventh, at the luminous hour of 9:12 PM, I shall step into the sacred circle of my thirty-third year. And for a soul who once walked the hallowed halls of the church, as I did, the echoes of a profound resonance surely sound. For Jesus proclaimed his divine lineage and embarked on his earthly ministry around his thirtieth spring, only to ascend three years later, at the very age I now approach?

Thus, this year unfolds as my very own ‘Jesus year,’ a time ripe with potent transformation, reinvention, remembrance, and the blossoming of my inner wisdom. I present this wisdom, aligning it with the seven sacred wheels of energy, the chakras that map the landscape of my being. Each chakra, a vibrant note in the symphony of my soul, accompanied by a song that, for me, hums with the exquisite harmony of its balanced state. This is a profound and poetic offering of the journey I have walked and the radiant being I am becoming.

Wisdom Affirmations

Root –

Upon my own two feet, I now stand, a sovereign soul, trusting the strength that rises within to bear the weight of worlds upon my shoulders. The sharp edges of responsibility have taught me a deeper resilience, a capacity to meet discomfort with grace, all while carrying myself with a quiet dignity. I have tasted the sweet nectar of true safety, both in the sanctuary of my own being and in the spaces I choose to inhabit. Only those who nurture this sacred sense of peace are welcomed into my orbit. And this, I know with unwavering certainty: my worth is not etched in achievements, nor measured by the fruits of my labor, nor defined by what I offer others. If the brilliance of my simple existence, my inherent magic, goes unseen by any person, place, or circumstance, then they shall not find harbor in the realm of my life.

I thrive in safe spaces. 
I am worthy of safety, care, affection, and rest. 
My stable foundation is within me.
I do not depend on others for security.
I rest in nature, in a fetal position in my bed, in the arms of my lover.
I am at home within myself.
Boredom is not dull but peaceful.

*Sweet Surrender – Jahnavi Harrison, Londrelle

Sacral – 

I have come to understand how the rigid doctrines of my early years cast a long shadow, obscuring the radiant landscape of my sexuality, my very queerness. The journey continues, a tender reclamation of the passion, the wellspring of creativity, the fathomless depths of emotion, and the potent force of my sensuality – all once wounded by the chilling echoes of fundamentalist beliefs, beliefs that have distorted reality and myth so deeply that my nightmares are filled with their bible stories. 

Yet, for nearly a decade, the gentle wisdom of yoga has been my steadfast guide, leading me back to the sanctuary of my own sacred form, helping me build a home within. Words falter when I attempt to capture the sheer lightness, the exquisite pleasure, the soaring elation of feeling whole, at ease within this body that for so long felt like a battleground, a site of pain inflicted by the relentless wars of patriarchy, the stifling dictates of Christian purity, and the heavy weight of societal, cultural, and familial expectations.

Now, a deep yearning stirs within me: to move my hips with abandon, to open myself in pleasure, to arch my back in ecstacy. I long to learn the art of receiving, to revel in the intoxicating dance of sensation. I celebrate the significant victories – the newfound awareness of the tension held within those vital centers of my being. My daily practice is one of cultivating havens of safety, a constant returning home to remind myself to soften, to breathe, to remember that ease is my birthright. For I know, with every fiber of my being, that endless magic resides within this vessel. Yoga whispered this truth to my soul, and now, through gentle practice, I am living its profound reality.

I embrace that I am a sexual being. 
I release all shame regarding the sexual nature of my body.
Embracing queerness does not tarnish my soul, but expands it.
My sex drive is safe to eb and flow as she wants.
I practice living through all of my senses every day.
I am free to move my hips and the ecstasy of divine feminine energy. 
I am a container for powerful kundalini awakenings. 

*Queer Chrisitian – Erica Mason

*Mama I’m Gay – Erica Mason

Solar plexus 

I have come to know that the path to the woman I yearn to be, living the life my daughter and I deserve, begins with a tender embrace of all the selves I once was. Each has played her part, guiding me to this very threshold. And so, with gentle hands, I release the worn-out stories that have painted a false portrait of my being. The narratives whispered to me, then etched by life’s harsh hand – that I am incapable, weak, too tender, lacking wisdom, obstinate, irresponsible, an outsider, foolish, innocent to a fault, fragile, a mere victim – these illusions I have set free.

What does this letting go entail? For me, it has been a pilgrimage of years, a deliberate journey of naming and challenging the shadows of distorted thought through the sacred spaces of therapy, the intimate confessions of my journal, and the mirroring wisdom of cherished friendships. It has been the courageous act of consistently stepping beyond the confines of fear – that primal dread of pain and the perceived sting of failure – fueled by discipline and the unwavering light of mindfulness.

My heart now pours forth into the pages of my second book, ‘Soul Sun: Interfaith Womanism Rituals: Rites, and Meditations for Healing, Wholeness, and Liberation,’ where I delve deeper into the sacred modalities that have guided my own transformation. I have come to know the contours of my soul, to embrace the magnificent being that I am. I have learned the profound art of becoming someone I deeply admire, and more importantly, of being proud. This knowing is my compass.

And since my previous post declaring my defiant ‘I AM WICKED,’ the echoes of condemnation have once again consigned me to the fiery depths for the ‘sin’ of loving women. But what can I say? I have found a strange solace here. I reign as Queen of this inferno, my scepter forged of healthy love, boundless compassion, and deep empathy. So vibrant is my reign in this ‘hell’ that each pronouncement of damnation is met with the resounding laughter of my wicked witch’s cackle. For in the truest expression of self, there lies the ultimate liberation.

I am relieved to know who I am.
I love myself
I believe in myself more than I do anyone else. 
I am capable.
Through practice and consistency, I can master anything. 

*I can do anything, Chris-N-Teeb and Toni Jones

Start a Riot- BEGINNERS, Night Panda

Heart 

No longer do I swallow the bitter draught of pain, but allow the necessary release, a sacred purging that keeps the rhythm of my heart strong and love true.

I have journeyed far, discerning the shadows of what love is not, and my understanding of healthy love continues to blossom. For as it has been revealed, true love is “the willingness to expand oneself for oneself and/or another’s spiritual growth.” (Scott M. Peck) According to bell hooks, love is an art form, a tapestry woven from seven vital threads: “care, affection, recognition, respect, trust, commitment, and open & honest communication.” Though my heart may be vast and generous, it need not be a landscape of disarray. Healthy love is the unwavering foundation upon which I build my life.

I now hold the gentle wisdom that there are souls in my tapestry of existence, bound by blood and lineage, who may not possess the capacity to practice the delicate art of healthy loving. And so, with a compassionate heart, I learn to love them from a distance, without the harshness of judgment. I once believed that living from the heart meant a constant offering of the sweetest nectar in existence and unending giving. But I have come to know that to truly live from the heart, one must first possess a heart – and mine shall be fiercely guarded, protected with the unwavering strength of a warrior goddess.

I believe in my heart.
I live from the heart.
I protect my heart.
I am unhurt.
I am healed.
I am whole.

*Lion – Saint Mesa

Throat – 

I carry within me the visceral memory of life’s descent into shadow when my own voice lay dormant. I have learned, with the unwavering certainty of bone and blood, that the very essence of my worth is tethered to the courage that unfurls within my throat. Each time I speak my truth, it is an act of profound self-parenting, a fierce honoring of the vow I made to cherish and defend this singular self.

Just the other day, the air in our shared space was poisoned. A white colleague recounted a tale, her lips carelessly forming the vile epithet hurled at her Hispanic husband – the ‘N-word’ – and in that moment, the full weight of centuries crashed upon my nervous system. The echoes of my ancestors, brutalized and dehumanized, reduced to chattel and called ‘niggers’ by the very people who inflicted such cruelty, surged through me. The familiar exhaustion, the ingrained impulse to silence myself, whispered its insidious comfort. But no. This time, the familiar pacification shattered. I bit back the ingrained reflex, and though the tremor ran deep, I found my voice. Calmly, clearly, I interpreted my own discomfort, and with a steel in my tone, I requested – no, I declared – that word should never again cross her lips in my presence. It was swift, it was clean, and I walked away from that space unbroken, neither consumed by rage nor drowned in tears.

This year, I stood tall in the sterile halls of justice, my voice a beacon illuminating the stark unfairness of my post-divorce reality. Though my pleas were met with denial, the act of uttering them was a victory in itself. I wield my voice as a sword and a shield. I articulate my boundaries with unwavering clarity. ‘No’ is a complete sentence I embrace. Requests are not whispers, but firm declarations. And my love? It spills forth unapologetically in spoken and written words, in the raw beauty of my poetry, and in the primal, untamed sounds that rise from the very core of my being.

My voice is important.
My voice is beautiful.
I purify myself when I express myself.
My voice cuts like a sword.
My voice protects me like a shield.
My needs are important.

*Paint it Black – Hidden Citizens, Ranya

No is Bae – Toni Jones

Third eye – 

My third eye now opens, a radiant lens through which discipline and the mastery of my spiritual gifts unfold. I have alchemized the very aspects I once scorned, transmuting them into the extraordinary powers that define me. Like Jean Grey rising from the ashes as the cosmic entity phoenix force, I too navigated the flames of self-destruction and self-effacement before learning to harness the potent currents of empathy and psychic knowing that flow within.

The boundless capacity to feel the pain of others, the deep stirring that compelled me to action on their behalf, once threatened to consume me. Toxic empathy and a compassion untethered nearly led me to the precipice. But now, having cultivated a profound mastery over these energies, anchored by an unshakeable sense of self, I am able to wield these gifts to uplift and aid others, without sacrificing the precious flame of my own being.

Whatever whispers through the veils of thought and emotion, whatever guidance arises within, I now greet with unwavering trust. For as the wise Toni Jones has declared, ‘My intuition said what she said, I trust her now.’

Energy goes where focus goes.
I trust the ancient wisdom within.
I do not doubt myself.
I am grateful for the spiritual gifts I have inherited.
My spirit guides communicate with me constantly.
I am always tapped in.

Mental Health – Midnight Scorpio

Crown 

The journey of this life, this exquisite unfolding, reveals a truth both simple and sublime: there is no distant shore to which we must return, no fractured self to mend back to a whole. For the true voyage lies in awakening to the illusion of separation itself. The notion that I am somehow adrift, disconnected from the wellspring of all creation, dissolves like mist in the morning sun.

There is no deed I can perform, no action I can withhold, no love I can offer or deny, no word spoken or left unspoken, that can sever the invisible, unbreakable thread that binds me to the source – that boundless ocean from which all existence arises, in which we now swim, and to which all will eternally belong.

I AM.
I am never separated from Goddess.
I am a Goddess.
I am connected to my higher self.

Django Jane – Janelle Monae

Higher Self – Mellow Will

I am so proud of myself! I cannot wait to see what comes next…