Sexuality is a complex topic that blends the personal with the collective and the mundane with the sacred. We often engage with it privately, yet it is intertwined with broader cultural values and beliefs. This makes navigating sexual fantasies a delicate balance of desire, respect and consent.
In today’s world, especially with movements like #MeToo gaining traction, there’s a heightened awareness around the importance of boundaries—both physical and psychological—in the realm of sex and fantasy.
This post explores how we can engage with sexual energy in ways that respects both our own and other’s integrity, that don’t “steal” from others, nor diminish ourselves.
It starts with the power of consent in fantasies, discusses 4 steps to navigate desire without acting on it, and introduces the possibility of archetypal fantasies.



Early in my training at my current job, my boss explained our agency’s position on social justice and intersectionality to me: “When we center the margins in our work, everybody gets served.” Framed differently: When we expand the circle of who can access service, be treated with dignity, and have their humanity affirmed by others, those already within the circle get served, respected, and affirmed as well. Nobody gets excluded. Everyone gets support. In our work, we recognize that all oppressions are interlinked, and that you cannot effectively advocate for the abolition of one form of oppression without working to end them all.


Over the past 20 years, I’ve been blessed with many moments in which fully aware or embodied presence has intersected spiritual transformation, both in my own life and in the lives of others. In my work on a crisis hotline, I’ve held space for strangers to open up and speak freely about pain, grief, and despair. In my work as a minister, I’ve held a couple’s hands as I blessed their marriage, and I’ve held space with the dying and their loved ones.