My Pilgrimage to Crete – September 2023, Part 1 by Terry Folks

Carol Christ’s Legacy honored by Laura Shannon, and the Ariadne Institute

When I teach the Heroine’s Journey in my Sophia Women’s Wisdom Group, I draw on Joseph Campbell’s idea of the mono-myth, an archetypal story that resonates with every human across time: The Hero’s Journey. I combine Campbell’s ideas with pieces of feminist Maureen Murdock’s heroine’s journey to recognize the unique pathway of the feminine. I call this my hybrid heroic journey. If you are not familiar with Maureen Murdock’s work, I invite you to see how she brought her feminist eye to Campbell’s iconic Hero’s Journey in her book The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness. After her conversation with Joseph Campbell six years prior to his transition, Murdock felt he missed “that the focus of female spiritual development was to heal the internal split between woman and her feminine nature” (p. 2). In my hybrid heroic journey, that split in the early stages is internalized negative masculinity. The rejection of our feminine nature may appear differently in each woman’s life but it is often characterized by treating ourselves how we imagine men perceive us.

My recent Pilgrimage to Crete was astonishing; my epiphany, gradual. As I share my adventure, imagine stages of your own heroine’s journey wherever you are in that cycle. I hope that by sharing this series, you will experience a real life example of Dion Fortune’s definition of magic: ‘The art of changing consciousness at will’. Starhawk, Truth or Dare, 1988.

I have deliberately combined Maureen Murdock’s lesser known phases of the heroine’s journey with Joseph Campbell’s well known stages of the hero’s journey.

Heroine’s Journey – The Journey Begins

Stage One – Ordinary World – Separation from the Feminine, Identification with the Masculine,  Gathering of Allies

Mono-myths devote time describing the heroine’s ordinary world so it can be contrasted with the ‘special world’ she’ll soon enter. In my ordinary world here in Comox, on beautiful Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada you may picture me serving women every day in my practice, along with the coinciding tasks of energetic work to each woman, scheduling, following up, and charting. That would be the surface. Underneath you would see me positioned at the centre supporting family members experiencing unimaginable trauma.

My ordinary world illustrates Murdock’s separation from the feminine and identification with the masculine which I define as internalized negative masculinity. Sue Monk Kidd summarizes Starhawk’s five faces of internalized negative masculinity:

“Starhawk says the voices from the patriarchy, which attack our inherent worth, become internalized as the self-hater. It is the old king, she says, with five faces: the Conqueror, who treats the self and those around us as enemies to be feared and destroyed; the Orderer, who inflicts rigid control; the Master of Servants, who demands that we deny our own needs and desires to serve others’ ends; the Censor, who keeps us silent; and the Judge, who offers to restore value to us in exchange for obedience”. (from Truth or Dare by Starhawk, p. 66, as summarized by Sue Monk Kidd in The Dance of the Dissident Daughter).

Notice Starhawk intersecting with Murdock. I internalized those voices and faces as though the mirror of patriarchy was facing me along with a microphone. I was not treating myself well; I was denying my own needs to serve others; I did not speak about my needs. I was also cycling on the blame loop, another feature of internalized negative masculinity. Everyone else was demanding too much; I told myself I was not choosing.

Stage Two – Call to Adventure – Road of Trials, Meeting Ogres and Dragons

My call to adventure was an invitation to travel alone. At first I refused the call. I was feeling quite sorry for myself since for a number of reasons I felt I ‘had’ to go on the pilgrimage alone. Going alone was not the original plan. Honestly? I was both resentful and terrified. I hadn’t travelled alone for years, and I lacked confidence since I became enmeshed with my partner during COVID. My inner ogres and dragons were my fears of travelling alone. Now new symbols and representations of the Goddess became a theme in my journey. I met with Autumn Skye as I was facing my fears. Autumn gave me permission to share the card I drew from her stunning deck along with the words ‘ADVENTURE – embrace the unknown; practice unattachment; change is imminent; take a leap of faith; say yes’.

Stage Three – Refusal of the Call

In spite of this encouraging oracle card, practical issues, family crises, packing stressors, guilt, resentment, and irritability only added to the manifestations of internalized negative masculinity to keep me stuck in the blame loop for several weeks. There was a parade of one emotional obstacle after another. Laura Shannon, the courageous woman who picked up Carol Christ’s baton, called these strange pre-departure personal challenges as the “inner pilgrimage” and invited us to consider carrying their meaning into the pilgrimage itself. In mono-myths, the refusal of the call is usually about the fear of leaving what is familiar and safe.

On another more important level, from 2018 through three years of COVID, I became the eye in the centre of traumatic family crises. Horrific is not an overstatement. I exerted myself on every level to support my loved ones. My unconsciousness of the effect this had on my psyche was a very real part of my refusal of the call. Could I really leave?

A month prior to my departure I told the truth of my resistance to myself and to safe allies. Truth telling moved me from blame to excitement about my solo adventure. I became obsessed with the challenge of limiting myself to a carry on and a back pack as I prepared for archaeological digs, ruins, caves, hikes, oceans, mountain villages, shrines, and sacred centres on Crete.

To be continued tomorrow . . .

BIO: Theresa (Terry) Folks, MA, RCC, CCC is a Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapist, educator and author. She serves women in her private practice, SpiritFirst Counselling, in Comox on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada. She facilitates Sophia Women’s Wisdom groups, and leads workshops for empowering women. She offers self therapy strategies and spiritual practices on her website and her Author FB page because she believes her life’s mission is to help women empower themselves. She is the author of Counselling Approaches to Spiritual Issues, a Masters Level Curriculum for MA candidates interested in infusing spiritual resources in therapy. Terry is also the author of Another Spring: A Year of Self Therapy & Spiritual Healing Practices. She awaits a publisher who recognizes the value of empowering women with her book. You can access her gifts, meditations, and strategies at https://www.facebook.com/TerryFolksSpiritFirstCounselling and here at https://spiritfirstcounselling.ca/blog/