Better Than a Rainy Norwegian Cruise:  the Divine Feminine App Comes to Another Fork in the Road by Caryn MacGrandle

I have just recently taken on debt with the divine feminine app.  I made the decision to go to the Parliament of World Religions.  We added a weekly email feature and an affiliate program.  I have been investing in some other features in an attempt to make the app sustainable.  I find myself $13,000 in debt. 

And I’m not done.  Both the Operating System that the app is built on and the smartphone apps need to be updated.  In technological terms, they are ancient, and we are starting to have different issues pop up with them. 

If I am lucky and continue to work without a paycheck as I have the past ten years and with the company in India who is about 1/8 the cost of doing this state side, this will cost us about $7,000.

In other words, I need $20,000.

I ask myself, is it worth it?

Yes.

My mother and I have been estranged.  Well, we’ve been struggling since I left my first marriage that was not working.  She admitted the other day that she had no experience with divorce. We come from a long tradition of remaining in bad, dysfunctional marriages.

When I left marriage number two and when the pandemic hit, it was too much for her, and our relationship disintegrated.  I know she loves and worries about her college-educated daughter who has been struggling to restart her life in her 50’s, but she is solidly amongst that crowd of people who believe the world is falling apart and that our only answer is to give back control to a patriarchal leader like Donald Trump who is willing to sacrifice All for the sake of the Economy.

I understand quite clearly that those days are over and that we are working towards balance in the world and the realization that we are All Her Children. 

And that these misogynistic men (No fair! They shout.  We don’t hate women, as long as they are tall and skinny, well-dressed, play by our rules…) I digress. 

But these misogynistic men, who are afraid of true feminine power, can not hold back what is coming any more than holding back a tsunami, an earthquake, a raging forest fire.

And what is burning right now is making way for Life.

Anyhow, back to the rainy Norwegian cruise.  My mother did not tell me but shared pictures with my children of a Norwegian cruise that her and my stepdad recently took.

She said it rained most of the trip, and she does not look happy in the pictures. 

It cost $20,000.

What is happening right now is that every minute of the day, you and I are making important choices.  Life this way.  Death that way.

I talked to a lovely woman yesterday from a lovely organization doing lovely work to dismantle the patriarchy.  This is something I get to do quite often.  There are so many women and organizations out there doing this incredible world-changing work, and the divine feminine app has almost 10,000 of them as registered users.

We are a directory of Sacred Feminine Empowerment: a stake in the ground and a way to communicate to 10,000 of us.  We are Essential.

She asked me a lot of questions about the app such as is it making money and its set-up, etc.

No, I answered and shared that I have put about $100,000 of my personal funds into it and spent pretty much every single day for the last decade working on this without being paid.

And I am not the only one.  I could name you a half a dozen comadres in about 3 seconds doing Sacred Feminine work who have also invested their personal funds and time without receiving a traditional equal comparison of financial reward.

Is it worth it?

Yes. I didn’t even have to think about it.

Especially in the early years, I gave up on the app thousands of times.  ‘What am I doing?’ I thought to myself.  ‘Are you nuts?’

But I would get an email or a phone call from someone saying that they found a group or an organization or that they were inspired to start hosting their own Circles.

If you have made it this far in this post, I know you understand.

I think back to the person I was ten years ago, and I am barely a resemblance of that person.

I think of the wisdom I have learned through sitting in Circle, finding my voice, learning to truly listen and allow others, to speak in a feminine, balanced way, to incorporate song and movement and drumming into my everyday life, to be recharged through nature instead of pharmaceuticals.

I think of the connections that I have made with other women who have also learned the above.

To listen to that small voice saying, “Life this Way.”

Maybe the divine feminine app has come to its natural death.  That is part of the Feminine Way.  Things are born.  They die.  New things happen.  I have not discounted that possibility.

But I don’t think so.

I’m starting to see others doing the same thing as the app.  Gathering us and connecting us. 

The divine feminine app has a running start on this.  And in comparison to other technological entities, I have managed to have a successful app pretty much organically attracting users each and every day, with 5 star ratings in the app store and all on a shoe-string budget.

I have ten years of experience doing this and all modesty aside, I am good at it.  I talked to a women doing the same thing as the app, and I saw her eyes glaze over when I asked the technological questions.  My eyes do not glaze over.  I understand where and what the app is.   I have spreadsheets of exactly what needs to be done.

Over the years, as I continually questioned myself on my sanity with the app, I finally surrendered and told Mom that as long as I saw an open door or an open window, I would keep walking or crawling through.

I am still here.  And the windows keep opening.

I have complete faith that if the app is supposed to be here, it will. 

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“I love your posts!!  I’m so new to all of this and half the time I don’t fully (or even partially sometimes!) understand the meaning of or get the references in what I’m reading lol (for example, who was Sophia? – clearly my education is gravely lacking)!! But something in me recognizes that it is completely relevant and important to me and whenever I read anything about the divine feminine, sisterhood, goddesses, witches, women who heal and are powerful and who live by their their intuition, that something leaps up and down with excitement and stamps her feet and tosses her head and yells ‘yes yes yes, tell me more, I AM part of this!’ It is such an exciting journey of discovery and growth, this waking up, beginning to learn who I really am and what I want to do. I’m so thankful for all this awareness, for how ALIVE it makes me feel and for the possibilities it opens my eyes and my mind, too.”  – Tracey Hines

“I could not survive in a world without my sisterhood. When I saw my entire existence crashing into the sea, my same best friend held me up above the waves until I could swim to shore. My other sisters offered support and encouragement, waiting with a life raft. Karen, you are doing a wonderful thing with your app. Any woman in a place where she doesn’t have this support, will be able to work toward finding it. She will be able to find a circle, sisterhood and likeminded, kindred spirits. Thank you!!” – Natalie Hoyt