It’s been several years now since I first read ecofeminist thealogian Carol P. Christ’s revelatory prose regarding the necessity of the Goddess in a woman’s life:

A symbol’s effect does not depend on rational assent, for a symbol also functions on levels of the psyche other than the rational… The symbols associated with … important rituals cannot fail to affect the deep or unconscious structures of the mind of even a person who has rejected these symbolisms on a conscious level—especially if the person is under stress… Symbol systems cannot be simply rejected, they must be replaced. Where there is not any replacement, the mind will revert to familiar structures at times of crisis, bafflement, [celebration,][1] or defeat.[2]

Reading those words was an unexpected shock—I felt like a previously unknown weight was abruptly lifted off my shoulders! As a young tween, I’d consciously refused Christianity for a somewhat naïve equality-based form of feminism—but I’d still unwittingly internalized the organized religion’s misogynistic teachings. Since then, I’ve worked to encourage the Goddess, in all Her multiplicity of forms, in both my life and the lives of women and genderfluid persons all around me.

I was privileged, due to my dissertation research, to witness some of the marvelous richness and diversity of expression of the Goddess in the lives of several spiritually aware women and genderfluid persons. For my research, the women and genderfluid heads of five different families were kind enough to speak with me as study participants—comprising a wonderful diversity of race and/or ethnicity, country of birth, current age and educational levels, gender and sexual preferences, or even whether the participants were wives or mothers.

It wasn’t until later (exhaustively!) reviewing the transcripts of our discussions that I eventually realized they also all shared one powerful commonality: all of the women and genderfluid persons had rejected their natal religions—in order to search for and (in the fullness of time) incorporate Goddess into their lives… each in beautifully distinctive fashion. This was, for me, the epitome of the magnificent and inspiring ambiguity which I believe is an integral element of both Women’s Spirituality, and the Goddess Herself.

I use aliases for all the women and genderfluid participants mentioned in this article, though due to space considerations I’ve unfortunately had to heavily abridge their stories. You can read a more complete version of their words here. Further, despite this article being quite short, I share it in the hopes that it will inspire others to realize their personalized understanding of Her in their lives, and thereby shed self-limiting and damaging patriarchal beliefs and religions.

Jasmine, Maya, and Eliana of the East Bay family

All three women practice the earth-centered tradition of Ifá, which Maya explains as not just a spiritual practice, but also a way of understanding Self, one’s purpose, and destiny. Natural forces are reified as individual deities, promoting an ontology of balance via a gender ambiguity which produces beneficial and productive energy. The tradition was almost lost during the Diaspora, surviving primarily due to female priests — though today, as the faith becomes more mainstreamed, that history is being ignored and/or forgotten. Still, Eliana notes: “[T]he power of women who have been practicing these amazing rituals is rather unparalleled . . . we should continue to do this work because it’s not completely absent or wrong—it’s just been suppressed and covered up.”

Alexa, Jade, and Allison of the Colorado family

Both Alexa and Jade consider themselves ex-Christians and occasional pagans, while Allison was raised Jewish but no longer practices. Along with Luke, Alexa’s husband, the four-person family deliberately uses their spirituality as a means of both household creative expression, and interpersonal emotional intimacy. Via a fascinating bricolage of bits and pieces of their current and former belief systems, the family creates beautiful and personally meaningful shared rituals which, via their shared celebration, inspire a close-bonding collective effervescence between them all.

Sophia of the Washington State family

Sophia takes daily walks with her small granddaughter, explaining: “Wandering and walking have characterized my engagement with the natural world since a very early age . . . [and] have enabled me to develop self-confidence and a sense of well-being that sustains me even in the most stressful circumstances… I believe that all of life is sacred . . . I think the spiritual is in the everyday. I think every breath we take is a spiritual experience.” For Sophia, spirituality is Earth-based, grounded in her nurturing and sustaining relationships with the land, nature, and the people in her life.

Maria of the South Bay family

I was most startled—and then fascinated—by Maria’s spirituality. She expresses her faith within a personally (extremely) modified form of New Age Christianity. As she puts it, she refers to the deity “grammatically” as God—but also states with absolute confidence, “God is really me, and my energy, and what I bring to it.” Since she devoutly believes we choose and create—both before and after our births—the worlds we live in, she also does not believe in evil, per se. Instead, she prays for blessings and enlightenment on those poor souls who do not yet realize they can choose a life of joy and illumination.

Conclusion

In conclusion, all the study participants found it necessary to abandon their natal religious faiths, based on a need to strengthen and encourage themselves in their roles as heads of family, spiritual leaders, and (sometimes) mothers. I had not initially internalized how important a powerful female spiritual role model is for women and genderfluid persons, but this study unequivocally taught me that a hegemonic organized religion, which maintains and is supported by the standardized misogyny of patriarchal cultures, cannot and does not answer the needs of women and genderfluid persons—modern or otherwise.

Importantly, Dr. Christ conceives of a Women’s Spirituality that (a) is numinously and affirmingly embodied as female, joyfully sanctifying women as miraculous creators of life; (b) embraces both nature and culture into the endless environmental cycle of life, death, and rebirth; and (c) both asserts and verifies women and sisterhood as powerful, harmonious, and sacred. This phenomenological symbol system is of necessity fluid and ambiguous, depending on the spiritual, physical, and emotional needs of individual women and genderfluid persons throughout their lives as they attempt to embody feminine affirmation and empowerment. This, I believe, is the significance of ambiguity: it not only denies dualism—it ontologically refuses patriarchal hierarchy.

Consequently, I found the lack of a dualistic morality and world view was not just expressed, but visibly personified by the lives of compassionate compromise, tolerance, and thoughtful ambiguity which each of the study participants chose to live. All of them considered even quotidian life to be sacred, and consequently they all also manifested caring and generosity towards those in need, or those who were different from them. Through creating their own beautifully unique spiritual paths, all of the participant women and genderfluid persons amply demonstrated their intrinsic strength: both via compassionate leadership of their families, as well as the marvelously fluid ambiguity of this uniquely individual, nature- and woman-centered approach to the Goddess.

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[1] I was fortunate enough to attend several of Christ’s classes, and in one of them she mentioned her desire to amend her original writing to include both positive and negative emotional reactions. As per her stated desire, I have added in the word “celebration.”

[2] Christ, “Why Women Need the Goddess,” 274–75; italics mine.

BIO: Despite having never been a professional adventurer, Blythe “Collie” Collier, PhD has nonetheless both scribed and deciphered cryptic writings (read some of her work at http://www.ColliesBestiary.com); handled ancient texts and artifacts (she is the founder and principal of the upcoming educational nonprofit Nisaba Press, which rewrites and publishes Women’s Spirituality theses and dissertations for a lay audience); trained and traveled with horses, dogs, camels, and elephants (including her beautiful and clever rescue dog, Goldie); studied and initiated mystical rites (she is a Women’s Spirituality content creator at http://www.youtube.com/@laughingcollie); and discovered the resting places of lost treasures.