My god bleeds with me
Her feet right beside mine for morning gratitudes
Soles to soils, we touch skin to skin
She’s vast like me
And I love her
My god grieves when I do
My sorrows meet Hers at the ocean shore
Vial for vial, our tears make our medicine
She can transmute anything, just like me
And I love Her
She courts me
leaves me love notes in the shapes of flower petals
winks at me in amber sunsets
morning serenades and juicy fruits
She loves me! She lifes me!
And I love and I life Her too
My god cracks a smile when I dance for Her
Hips swirling, stirring alive the mysteries of blood and breath and woman
My undulating curves; a vibrating prayer
I am Her performance art
Her fleshy pulsing ministry
My god doesn’t want my worship
Says She much prefers my remembrance
As I receive Her, I receive more of myself
The very ground of my being
It is through Her that I am that I am
Looking at me in the mirror when I pray
Speaking of Herself through me
My beautiful god made of dust and star stuff
I love Her because She bleeds with me
𖦹
‘And then there’s those weird new age cults that believe in God the Mother…’ my Christian neighbor warns me on our walk one day.
I smile to myself; she does not know that love for MotherGod is as old as time. And yet I pause, hesitant to confess my love for my womangod. How do I express my deepfelt belief that women need language that shapes god into a feminine form?
God is life is participation. A psychic constellation of understanding, and therefore, interaction. Having found god through deep collaboration and surrender with life, I resonate with Mary Daly’s lens that god is a verb and ground of being. And yet, we use language to noun-ify the Abstract and Absolute because it is word that binds and makes real.
To relate to god as a bleeding being, to image a feminine face of the divine, is essential to a woman’s becoming. Just as there are some topics that women do not discuss in the presence of male energy, there are some aspects of relationship that cannot be fully felt within a hetero-human-divine relationship.
Word reflects and constructs consciousness, so it follows that narratives of a disembodied god make for a disembodied life. Language-ing a god who is as embedded in life as woman is brings a vitality and sacred mundanity to her spirituality. She may get lost in the beauty of the earth, in conversation, in caring for familiars, and suddenly find she has opened a door to Her temple.
When woman meets god sole to soil, out flowers a mutual language of common ground, a type of womanspeak. A natural outflow of woman-consciousness reflected onto each other — murmurs and musings, spells and songs and silences and scrys, laughters and laments, tellings and tales, glances, grimaces and glares — all expressions of a full spectrum woman!
This sacred language is a form of feminine provision, a fertilizing force by which women see, feel, and invoke their vastness. It is through this mother tongue that women take part of Her greatness. Mouth is mirror. By bringing Her to life, woman is brought to life too.
I am grateful to my neighbor for bringing me face to face with the part of me afraid to give voice to She Who Is. I send myself compassion and wonder how I could ever be shy to sing Her song. Next time, my words will be ready. It is through Her that I found myself, and a holy happening such as that could never be fringe or weird or wrong.
BIO: Jsabél Bilqís is a woman devoted to Her. Though credentialed across metaphysics, parapsychology, and thealogy, her work is most greatly informed by her relationship with Mother Divine. As an ordained reverend, Jsabél writes about women living deeply in relationship with the Eternal Feminine. Her work archives a mythopoetic exploration into women-centered spirituality and thealogic psychology.
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