Good Friday marks the second anniversary of one of the most significant dates in my life – the adoption of my daughter, Baby S – who by the way is no longer a baby (she will be turning 5 this May). On Easter Sunday, 2012 I wrote about the resurrection of my family. In the last few years that I have been blogging, this is by far my favorite post and I have been so grateful for the many wonderful responses I have received from it. With today being Good Friday, it seems an appropriate time to revisit this incredible experience and once again, give thanks for the blessings in my life. Continue reading “A Family Conceived, Lost, and Resurrected by Gina Messina-Dysert”
Tag: motherhood
Sanctuary of Echoes by Natalie Weaver
Tomorrow I will have the unique opportunity to hear my son recite a poem I wrote before his class. The students were invited to select a poem to memorize and perform along with props or costumes as suited the material. The only conditions were that the poem be a minimum of twelve lines, published in a book, and in good taste. A poorly chosen poem, he said, would result in perpetual detention.
I was excited when he expressed enthusiasm for the assignment. I asked him what kind of poem he would like to learn. Something humorous? Something dramatic? Something tragic? Something about love? War? I read to him first those famous opening words of Virgil’s Aeneid: Arma virumque cano (I sing of arms and a man…). I thought surely he would be intrigued by the rhythm and the promise of such a tale. He asked for some other options, so I presented favorites from the Medieval Hebrew canon. I taught him Adon Olam, since he was curious about learning poetry in a foreign language. He liked it quite a bit and learned how to pronounce the Hebrew, but this was not his choice. I pulled out selections from Catullus’ eulogies for his brother. I searched Sappho for something playful. We read more contemporary options from the usual suspects in an anthology of poetry that I had used in a college course: Frost, Dickinson, Poe. I even introduced him to the seductive “duende” of the great early 20th century Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca in his Poet in New York.
Struggles of a Catholic Feminist Mother by Gina Messina-Dysert
Maintaining a Catholic identity as a feminist has been a challenge. There have certainly been times where I have walked away from my tradition frustrated by teachings that are oppressive to women and LGBTQ, but I have always come back. Change doesn’t happen from the outside, right? Continue reading “Struggles of a Catholic Feminist Mother by Gina Messina-Dysert”
Truths My Mother Taught Me by John Erickson
I never gave much credence to religion but through my mother, I met G-d, and through her I understood that I’m not a feminist because of the books I’ve read but rather because of the woman I call mom.
The first question I always get asked when I’m in feminist spaces is: “What inspired you to become a feminist?” Although I could go into the various histories revolving around men’s involvement in the early stages of the women’s movement to the similarities between the LGBTQ and women’s movements, my simple answer has always relied on one person: my mother.
I’ll be the first to admit (as well as many other people who will join me in the same chorus) that my mother deserves Sainthood for having put up with all the shenanigans I have, and still continue to, put her through. From running away from our local Catholic church the moment she dropped me off at Sunday School, to swearing like a sailor on leave at a very early age in front of Father Schmidt (who still fondly remembers me and the list I brought in with me to the confessional booth). Continue reading “Truths My Mother Taught Me by John Erickson”
Selfish Working Mothers Destroying the Natural Order? by Gina Messina-Dysert
It was nearly twelve years ago when I sat before my then pastor in pre-cana counseling and was told “how nice it is that you are trying to help women by working in a domestic violence shelter, but now that you are going to be married your role is to be a wife and mother. Working outside the home will no longer fit into your life. Your duty is to have children and care for your family.”
Our conversation continued and according to my pastor, God was not concerned with what I had to offer my community, but rather with how many children I could bear and raise as Catholic. In that moment, I was told that my life and my efforts were of little value and that having children was the one thing I could do as a woman that would make my life worthy. How funny – or sad – that in the 21st century, women’s worth continues to be tied to her womb and all other efforts are not valued.
Just this last week Pew Research released a report stating that 4 in 10 households have mothers who are either the main or sole breadwinners for the family. Continue reading “Selfish Working Mothers Destroying the Natural Order? by Gina Messina-Dysert”
The Safety of a Mother’s Arms by Gina Messina-Dysert
Earlier this year in May, I was honored to be a speaker at the American Mothers National Convention. While attending the conference I heard a young mom speak about her own experience of being held hostage as a child and the feeling of total security she felt when embraced in her mother’s arms for the first time following the terrifying ordeal. Listening to her led me to recall my own experience of feeling that security with my mother. When I was a child and needed to be comforted, there was no one else who made me feel safe the way my mom did. However, the safety of my mom’s arms did not end when I became a teenager or an adult. Up until the day my mom died, I still cuddled with her like a little girl. I felt spiritually connected to my mother, it was through her loving arms that I found security and felt truly connected to God.
There has been much exploration of the spiritual and emotional bond between mother and child. Becoming a mother to an adopted toddler, I wondered if my daughter and I would share the same bond that I shared with my mother. Baby S did not grow in my womb, we did not bond for nine months while she was in utero, and she had a history of multiple foster families before coming home to me and my husband. Continue reading “The Safety of a Mother’s Arms by Gina Messina-Dysert”
Having it All or Embracing What We Have? by Gina Messina-Dysert
Like thousands of other mothers, I found myself consumed by Anne-Marie Slaughter’s 13,000 word cover story, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” for the July/August edition of The Atlantic. As a new mom with a Ph.D. and growing career, I have wondered if I can truly “have it all” or if something will eventually have to give in my overloaded schedule. It has been exhausting and near impossible to keep up with my “normal” workload while being a parent and I have constantly been concerned about my daughter getting all she needs from me (and me getting all I need from my daughter!).
I had a long struggle to becoming a mother. After ten years, multiple infertility treatments, many prayers, and even more tears, me and my husband decided to adopt. We’ve been so fortunate to be blessed with our darling daughter, but becoming a mother has been nothing of what I expected. I had fantasized about motherhood, imagined it as my true destiny, a spiritual path, the role God intended me to have. Now that I am a mother, I find myself constantly falling short. The laundry is never done, take out for dinner happens far too often, and some days I forget to pack my daughter’s lunch. I’m late to work, I miss deadlines, I don’t return phone calls or emails, and I wonder if it is possible to get back to being organized and on top of life the way I was before. Continue reading “Having it All or Embracing What We Have? by Gina Messina-Dysert”
Feminist Family Values by Gina Messina-Dysert
As a new mother, something that is constantly on my mind is how to teach my daughter morals and values. She just turned three and has a strong awareness of what is going on around her. Her vocabulary is vast and continues to grow daily. I know that if I don’t start teaching her values now, I am missing out on an important opportunity.
Although I was raised Catholic and consider myself a “cultural Catholic,” I am uncomfortable with Catholic traditional prayers because of their lack of gender inclusiveness, among other things. We don’t attend church as we have not yet found a community that we feel is a good fit for our family.
Thus, I have found myself creating new prayers to recite at dinner and bed time; prayers that encompass our family values, are feminist in nature, and are simple enough that our daughter can remember and recite them on her own. Continue reading “Feminist Family Values by Gina Messina-Dysert”
EASTER OF THE GODDESS: A VIEW FROM GREECE by Carol P. Christ
On Good Friday, Easter Saturday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday the blogs on feminismandreligion.com celebrated mothers and God the Mother.*
This is my body, given for you.
This is my blood, given for you.
While these words are the center of a Christian liturgy celebrating the sacrifice of Jesus as the Christ, they are more appropriately spoken of our own mothers. Your mother and my mother and all mothers, human and other than human, mammalian, avian, and reptilian, give their bodies and blood so their offspring might have life. True, mothers do not always make conscious choices to get pregnant, but almost all mothers affirm life in their willingness to nurture the young who emerge from their bodies and from their nests. Had mothers—human and other than human–not been giving their bodies and their blood from time immemorial, you and I would not be here.
The Easter liturgy fails to acknowledge that the original offering of body and blood is the mother’s offering. Christianity “stole” the imagery associated with birth and attributed it to a male savior. If that was all Christians had done, it would have been bad enough. In most countries today there are laws against theft. Christian theologians and liturgists should also be given an “F” for plagiarism–defined as presenting the ideas of others as if they are one’s own. Z Budapest was right when she famously famously opined, “Christianity didn’t have any original ideas.
Continue reading “EASTER OF THE GODDESS: A VIEW FROM GREECE by Carol P. Christ”
A Family Conceived, Lost, and Resurrected by Gina Messina-Dysert
As I had written about in a previous post, my husband and I had a very long struggle with infertility. After nine years, multiple failed rounds of infertility treatments, and much heartache, we decided to look at alternative options to grow our family. Once we had made the decision to adopt, I felt new hope. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and I knew a child would be coming home to us before long. I had a dream that Mary, the mother of Jesus, had come to me and told me that I would be a mother. She promised that a child was waiting that needed our love and would arrive soon. I began praying to a shrine of Mary at a local parish near my home; she became my source of strength and solace.
Not long after we had been approved for the adoption waiting list, we took a family trip to Italy to visit my father’s hometown and meet our relatives. It was quite an adventure and during our excursion I stopped in every church we passed to say a prayer to Mary. Half way through the trip we received a call that a child had been matched with us. To say we were overjoyed would be a complete understatement. We tried to catch an earlier flight home but were unable. A once in a lifetime trip to Italy was suddenly of no interest to us as we sat around our hotel room looking at baby items, reading parenting info, and preparing for the homecoming of our first child. Continue reading “A Family Conceived, Lost, and Resurrected by Gina Messina-Dysert”
Feminism and Religion 