I have never had so much trouble trying to find a topic for blog and to begin writing it as I have this time. It is 6:58 am in Greece, three hours and two minutes before my blog is due to be posted, and I still do not have a topic. It is not that topics have not occurred to me. There is the rape allegation against Donald Trump by E. Jean Carroll. There is the fact that it was ignored by the press—as if it somehow does not matter that the President of the US is or might be a rapist. There is the declaration by Kamala Harris that if elected President she would move to immediately process hundreds of thousands of unprocessed rape kits. There are the new reports of the horrendous conditions in which children, women, and men are being kept in detention at the US border. And this morning there is the President’s racist rant against progressive congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan and Ayanna S. Pressley of Massachusetts.
There are plenty of topics out there but somehow this weekend it seems futile to write about any of them. I feel like whatever I say won’t matter because people just don’t care about any of it. We know that close to 40% of Americans will accept anything that Trump says or does. I know these people. Some of them are in my own family. But why did The New York Times and most of the liberal and progressive talk show hosts ignore E. Jean Carroll? And why are the Democrats in the House not moving more boldly to impeach Trump? Why do they keep saying they need more evidence when the evidence is overwhelming as former law teacher and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren said as soon as she finished reading Mueller’s report?
All of these are reasons for not being able to find a topic. Still, there is something else.
It is the UN report that came out at the beginning of May stating that one million species face extinction in the near future due to human degradation of the world in which they live. One of those species is of course ourselves, but our extinction will not be as immediate as those of the whales and dolphins that are washing up on our beaches in great numbers this summer. Not as soon as the end of the giraffes and the tigers. And if bees go extinct the rest of us—human and other than human—are surely doomed.
I have not been optimistic about the future of the world and its species for a very long time. But somehow I have been able to put my pessimism on the back burner while continuing to hope that somehow the world can be saved and continuing to do what I can to save it.
One million species facing extinction. One-third of Greece in danger of becoming a desert. Paris France recording a temperature of 45.9 degrees this June.
So much has already been lost. So much more will soon be lost. My heart is overcome with grief. I should be wailing and mourning in the streets. Instead I push my grief aside. I am afraid that if I give into it, I will never stop crying. So much has already been lost. So much more will be lost every day of our precious lives. I am afraid. I am afraid I cannot bear it.
When I awoke early this morning it was already hot and humid. The rains have come. Will tears follow?
*The title of this blog is inspired by Denise Levertov’s “Grief, have I denied thee?”
Carol P. Christ is an internationally known feminist and ecofeminist writer, activist, and educator currently living in Pachia Ammos, Crete. Carol’s recent book written with Judith Plaskow, Goddess and God in the World: Conversations in Embodied Theology, is on Amazon. A Serpentine Path: Mysteries of the Goddess is on sale for $9.99 on Amazon. Carol has been leading Goddess Pilgrimage to Crete for over twenty years: join her in Crete. Carol’s photo by Michael Honneger.
Listen to Carol’s a-mazing interview with Mary Hynes on CBC’s Tapestry recorded in conjunction with her keynote address to the Parliament of World’s Religions.