Circle of Fire by Sara Wright

Moderator’s Note: This is the final part of Sara’s poem that was posted last week. You can read it here.

Part 1

She burned
 in raging fires
swamped by
merciless floods
crossed mountains
 of grief
so wide so deep
crushed Silence
in her sleep
unknowingly
accompanied
by Owls
and Winter Wren
Marked by Bear’s
sharp Protective
 Claws
 Circles of Fire

Geese caught her
in mid -air…
numbed and curled
she fell,
 kept falling
falling
enduring….
she hung
sloughed off
blood
soaked skin
smashed through
 divided
monster walls
made a
commitment
to survive…

 Emerald Green
Black Bears
released her

Oh,
To see
Wild Heart emerging
to feel
 joy and sorrow
 flowing
motherless
moon -child hugged
Earth’s
 Roots
so fiercely…
‘never separate
us again’
she begged
Grandmother’s
green pearls
are gold

  (Swallowtails
surround
 my beloved
now flying
above her
grave…

She sewed shut
her wounded
heart
expelling
the two
that harmed
bared dog teeth
to keep
us safe
future
predators
may start
with
 ‘friends’
Truth sinks in
trust no one
but Grandmother
who wears
 a weeping
 willow crown

Loved by 
   Trees
Emerald Pearls
Identity intact
  Old Woman
 lives again.

(crucifixion and betrayal – power of bears – and this poem all belong together – one is about dying, renewal and letting go and this third one is about PROTECTION FROM THE TWO THAT TRIED TO DESTROY ME)

Part 2

Wild Rose with Sword-like Thorns Re-weaves the Web

 She is wandering through her protected warblers’ field listening to cool waters slipping over stone, gazing at giant cedar fronds lighting up the dawn. Reaching the tangle of fragrant miniature wild roses she inhales sweet scent, peering at every blossom, pale pink tinted buds. Covered with bees this wild rose is finally threading her way through summer heat and green.

 (Branded an ‘invasive’ by the plant police, they are trying to annihilate a being that will provide the bees and other beneficial insects  with nectar and pollen while scenting the humid fiery air of a polluted planet. Nature compensates for man’s destruction by bringing in plants that will survive extinction).

 Ruthlessly betrayed her memory is sharp and clear as she regards this bush with deepening respect. Such delicate flowers armed with thorns so sharp that picking one will draw a few drops of blood.

A broken woman came back to life singing over her bones and today she chooses this flower as a symbol of who she has become.

The Child resides in safety within each petal surrounded by bees who sting, Old Woman protects herself  with every sword -like thorn.

Compassionate and loving to a fault owning personal vulnerability as her fifty percent, she is now holding the two accountable.

She calls upon
Her Owls
Compassionate
Witnesses
Mistresses and Masters
of the
Night
Protectors too
Prophecy their
Gift to her
 Close the Circle
return harm
to the two
who conspired
to destroy her
Oh yes
 Return to Sender
the cruelty
that belongs
to them.
Re-weave the Web
 close
Sara’s Circle
Twice.

As most of our readers know I normally shy away from retaliation of any kind, but this last double betrayal was the worst of my entire life. I’ve endured more than two months of losing my mind, endured torture beyond any I have experienced..

 These two acted together.

I dreamed:

 I was wrongfully accused of a crime I did not commit

I dreamed:

My body was ripped open

 blood was oozing out

I dreamed

He was the man with the gun

I dreamed

That a man was trying to strangle me, another was hidden behind the door ready to choke me to death

I dream

That I am being tortured by an ugly arrogant man

There were many more dreams like this, violent, gruesome and frightening.

For more than 2 months I struggled with  bizarre betrayal without comprehension at first in shock and horror unable to metabolize what these people had done.

Repeated attempts to engage in any conversation were blocked.

Silence was the deadly weapon they used to destroy me. He knew of course what this would do.

 I struggled to breathe. In fact, breathing at all became a conscious effort

Spring Greening was so painful I couldn’t get out of bed except to hospice my dying dog.

I believed this betrayal might kill me.

I prayed to be cut down from the dead tree

Extremes reigned – anguish to rage

I swung back and forth

  Grief unhinged mind from body.

Drowning.

all mercy withheld.

One day a commitment to survive gradually seeped through my fragile skin.

Like magic the Black Hood was removed.

Almost immediately spring greening rose up

to let me feel

My beloved dog was dead and flying.

But grief was mixed with feelings of joy.

Alive again.

Now it almost July.

The first poem emerged in the solstice fire.

The second one I wrote with the clear intention to return the cruelty to the two

that generated it

To close the circle twice.

Monsters need to be held accountable because they will never own what they did.

Returning ruthlessness to those who harmed  became a way to stand my  ground.

Ethically I felt ambivalence rising, but I will allow those feelings to come and go unless I receive other instructions from those who know…

 I know who I am. Like my beloved dead dog, I am a weaver not a breaker.

The so called ‘healer’ is a fraud.