Motherhood – Page 5

Coming Home by Catherine Gorey

I have often heard people speak of times when “life stood still,” where the activity of others continues while yours comes to a sudden halt.

I love the sound of lyrics to the Skylar Grey song “Coming Home.” It has a mantra type melody that allows me to find my center when I am off kilter.

I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming

It speaks to me often when I am in the midst of interior conflict roused by change, growth, transition, disappointment etc. Each personal encounter causes a shift in my interior landscape which in turn requires me to find my center again. Sometimes the homecoming takes longer, depending on the cause of the axis shifting.

March 15^th, 2012 will mark the 3 year anniversary of my mother’s death. A day that caused me much turmoil within and a life event from which I continue to search for my center. I would never have thought that this life event would shake me to the core as it did, causing me to question everything I ever thought to have known about my mother. Continue reading “Coming Home by Catherine Gorey”

Robbed by Monica A. Coleman

“Life is robbery.”

I re-read this Alfred North Whiteheadquotation to my students in the last weeks as we read through Adventures of Ideas. We were taking a welcome break from the philosophically demanding Process and Reality.

I explained that this is one of Whitehead’s more frequently cited sentences because he succinctly and poetically describes his position that life entails loss, and you can’t go back and get what you lose.

I said the same thing to one of my girlfriends as we chatted in my kitchen a couple of weeks ago. I was cooking and catching up with a friend I had not seen in nearly twenty years. As we chronicled our lives from the intervening decades, my friend said: “I have a religious question.”

In moments like these, I curse the fact that even my closest friends think that I have some special kind of knowledge as a minister and professional theologian. I took a deep breath because that phrase usually precedes some difficult, heart-wrenching question that has no satisfying answer.

Continue reading “Robbed by Monica A. Coleman”

Motherhood: Still Women’s Most Valued Creative Contribution to Society? by Ivy Helman

I’m expecting…

The stork is delivering as we speak! I hope you can join me in celebrating this joyous news – although you should know, the stork is the United States Postal Service, and I am expecting my first book, not my first baby!

It sounds somewhat crass (even to me whose book this is) to even try and pass off a book in the same way in which women announce they are expecting baby/babies. Sadly, writing books, which is one use of a woman’s creative energy, does not seem to be as valued as a woman’s ability to procreate, another use of a woman’s creative energy. Among the circle of friends I grew up with, children still seem to hold a more cherished place. On facebook.com, my “friends” post weekly updates as to the progress of their babies, pictures of their “baby bumps” and pictures of their newborns. Just through reading comments, the excitement is palpable. Continue reading “Motherhood: Still Women’s Most Valued Creative Contribution to Society? by Ivy Helman”

My Body Tells A Story: Embracing my Scars and Imperfections By Michele Stopera Freyhauf

As we approach New Years Eve, there is an emphasis on losing weight, getting in shape, etc. in the coming Year. We make resolutions to better ourselves and reflect on the year that passed us by. With the impending New Year, there is also a realization that we become a year older, which for some means more grey hair, wrinkles, or other marks that appear on our body. It is safe to say that we live in a world that is obsessed with body image and the search to find the fountain of youth. In fact, TV is plagued with reality shows that perpetuate this obsession. Keeping up with the Kardashians displays such a problem. People who watch this show watch Kris Jenner’s facelift to her struggle with body image despite the fact that she gave birth to six healthy children and is 56 years young. There are also shows that show people obsessed, even addicted to plastic surgery – they are trying to attain perfection, attempting to reverse the aging process, and remove the scars of their lives. Continue reading “My Body Tells A Story: Embracing my Scars and Imperfections By Michele Stopera Freyhauf”

The Barren Woman Bible By Monica A. Coleman

As I mourn the loss of my miscarried babies, it’s easy to see that the Bible’s stories of barren women were written by men.

I know that men wrote the Bible. That’s no surprise to anyone who has had a brush with feminism or biblical scholarship. But there are times when one is more aware of this than at other times. As I mourn the loss of my miscarried babies, I think of how the Bible tells the stories of barren women.

When I read about Sarai, Leah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth, the story is always the same. The woman cannot have children.

Like a choose-your-own-adventure novel, the story goes like this:

Option A: You give your husband your maidservant, who then gives him a male child or two or three, and then, later, God opens your womb so you can bear a male child yourself.

Option B: You pray to God about how much you want children, and then, later, God opens you womb so you can bear a male child yourself. Continue reading “The Barren Woman Bible By Monica A. Coleman”

Advent 2011 By Barbara Marian

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.

Romans 8:22 (NIV)

Advent 2011

Ancestral midwives kneel in shadows

bringing aid and comfort

witness giving

to the pains and crying out and pushing,

Sister-mothers,

prepare the way,

For birthing

in a gushing

mess with cries of gratitude and joy,

As water holy turned

to blood in breaking open paths and sacks

that spill out life

and milk and bread

from deepest springs of hope ferocious. Continue reading “Advent 2011 By Barbara Marian”

The Paradoxical Perception of Midwifery in American Culture By Stacia Guzzo

This past Sunday night, midwife Robin Lim was named CNN Hero of the Year at a formal award ceremony in Los Angeles, California. The award, which was given after eleven weeks of public voting on CNN.com, came with $250,000 to support Lim’s quest to provide quality prenatal, labor, birth, and postpartum care for the poor and underserved in Indonesia. She accepted the award amidst a standing ovation, and closed her words of acceptance by simply saying: “Every mother counts. And health care is a human right.”

The recognition of Lim—or Ibu (“Mother”) Robin, as she is called by those whom she serves— is well-deserved. An American woman, Lim provides midwifery care at the Bumi Sehat clinics which she helped to establish. Each year, she helps thousands of Indonesian women get care and attention during their pregnancies and the births of their children. She began her work in 1994, seeing pregnant women and children under five for free out of her home. As her reputation spread, supporters of Lim, along with local business and community leaders, helped to advance her cause. Today, the village-based Bumi Sehat clinics are located in both Bali and Aceh. They provide free prenatal and birthing care as well as breastfeeding support to any woman who needs it, regardless of her ability to afford it. Ibu Robin’s words to CNN reflect that her commitment to her cause is an altruistic one: “”Every baby’s first breath on Earth could be one of peace and love. Every mother should be healthy and strong. Every birth could be safe and loving.” Continue reading “The Paradoxical Perception of Midwifery in American Culture By Stacia Guzzo”

Getting Tenure, Part I: It Took a Village by Grace Yia-Hei Kao

“[T]he many sacrifices made for my career have not been borne by me alone….Here are some of the ‘villagers’ to whom I owe a debt of gratitude.”

On December 1, 2011, the full professors at Claremont School of Theology unanimously recommended two of my colleagues and me for tenure. Provided that the Board of Trustees approves their recommendation and two extremes never come to pass (either “financial exigency” compels my institution to start laying off people willy-nilly or I do something professionally or morally egregious enough to be dismissed “for cause”), I now have a job for life! :) Continue reading “Getting Tenure, Part I: It Took a Village by Grace Yia-Hei Kao”

Birthing God at the Edges of Life, Death, and Beyond: Reflections on Mary, Motherhood, and Kali Part III By Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier

Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier, Ph.D., is Assistant Professor of Theological Studies at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, CA. She teaches and researches in the areas of women and religion, interreligious dialogue, comparative theology, Asian and Asian American theology, and Hindu-Christian studies. Tracy also co-chairs the Los Angeles Hindu-Catholic Dialogue.

When I began my studies of Hinduism, I marveled in a dizzying array of gods and goddesses. While non-Hindus assume that Hinduism is polytheistic because of the multitude of gods and goddesses, the reality is far more interesting and complex. Hinduism really isn’t one religion, but a cluster of them. For some, there is one personal, divine God or Goddess, and all other gods and goddesses are either different forms of the ultimate divine or are lower, created beings (like angels). For others, there is one divine reality, but it isn’t a personal God or Goddess. For them, the different deities illustrate or symbolize different aspects of the divine, but are not themselves the one Ultimate Reality. What all Hindus recognize, however, is that there is one Ultimate, Divine Reality and that that divinity pervades all things. But that divine Oneness is so profound, so deep, so real, that no one image can capture the divine essence. Thus, even as Hindus are more monotheists than polytheists, they resolutely celebrate the multiplicity that inevitably comes when finite humans imagine the infinite divine. Continue reading “Birthing God at the Edges of Life, Death, and Beyond: Reflections on Mary, Motherhood, and Kali Part III By Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier”

Birthing God at the Edges of Life, Death, and Beyond: Reflections on Mary, Motherhood, and Kali Part II By Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier

Mary, her purity, and her role as Virgin Mother have become the primary language for talking about women and women’s place in the Church. The late Pope John Paul II held up Mary, both virgin and mother, as the perfect model for women. For the Pope, women’s sexuality and spirituality are united in a vision of woman’s personhood as that of nurturing self-gift. The calling of physical and spiritual motherhood is connected to women’s more receptive and nurturing nature. Men lead the Church, as Christ did, while women receive Christ and others in their homes and in the world, as Mary did. Mary’s receptive openness to God is manifest from the beginning in her consent to Jesus’ conception. Such receptivity is both biologically natural and spiritually essential. Mary as Virgin Mother shows both women and men the value and depth of the receptive, self-giving reality of womanhood. Continue reading “Birthing God at the Edges of Life, Death, and Beyond: Reflections on Mary, Motherhood, and Kali Part II By Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier”

Birthing God at the Edges of Life, Death, and Beyond: Reflections on Mary, Motherhood, and Kali Part I By Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier

I grew up in St. Louis, MO, in the decades following Vatican II. My parish, like many at the time, was an odd mash-up of old and new. Contemporary praise music co-existed with smells and bells, informal homilies by hip priests with solemn novenas. It was an exciting time to grow up Catholic. I was on fire for God, but the opportunities for ministry as a little girl were limited. Boys were taught to follow Christ and were groomed to be priests. They got to skip class to receive training as altar boys. We all knew that boys were special. Girls were taught to be like Mary. While shut out of most ministries at the church, we were essential for the yearly May crowning. Every year, I prayed I would be chosen to crown Mary. I was never chosen; but I nevertheless became incredibly devoted to Mary, talking with her often and leaving little gifts outside my door for her to take to heaven. My favorite game was to pretend to be Mary. Continue reading “Birthing God at the Edges of Life, Death, and Beyond: Reflections on Mary, Motherhood, and Kali Part I By Tracy Sayuki Tiemeier”

Between the Newness of Life and the Slipping of Moments By Christie Havey Smith

The following is a guest post written by Christie Havey Smith, M.A., a Spiritual Director and a mother of three. She teaches spiritual writing workshops in the community and through Loyola Marymount University’s extension program. She has been a Youth Minister for St. Monica’s parish community and a volunteer at WriteGirl in Los Angeles, an organization dedicated to empowering teen girls through creative writing.

I come from a long line of amazing women. I had two great aunts with impassioned spirits. In neither case did that passion find its way into marriage, but instead found romance in literature and in travels; they married poetry, theology and their gardens. They gave birth to ideas and lavished love upon their sister and her children.

Their sister is my grandmother. She was widowed when her three children were still small, and she rose above every kind of challenge a needy mother can face. She is now ninety-five years old. Her sisters and friends have passed away, and she is the last of the greats of her generation. She is the Elizabeth Taylor of her community; when she dies it will be the end of an era. And it will leave quite a hole in our family. Continue reading “Between the Newness of Life and the Slipping of Moments By Christie Havey Smith”

A Different “Right to Choose”: America’s Cultural Denial of True Choice in Childbirth By Stacia Guzzo

The first time I became aware about my birthing choices was during a call to a local midwife to inquire about her practice. By this time, I had been diagnosed with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome, uterine fibroids, a possible uterine septum, and had experienced a miscarriage two months before becoming pregnant with my son. On spiritual and psychological levels I didn’t trust my body, and certainly wasn’t experiencing the empowerment and holy wonder that I expected pregnancy to bring. Instead of feeling the strength of my ability to bear life, I felt the frailty of the threshold between life and death, and struggled with my body’s role in that space. I acutely felt my body’s assumed “brokenness.” I couldn’t access my inherent dignity, nor could I grasp the “hope [that] does not disappoint” (Romans 5:5). I was willing to let anyone tell me what I needed to do because I felt I couldn’t trust myself. I just wanted to be able to bring my baby to term and to have a healthy son.

During this time I didn’t even consider how the pregnancy or labor would affect me—emotionally, physically, psychologically, or spiritually. Yet my discussion with that midwife made me realize how deeply the experience of pregnancy was shaping me. The space God was carving out within me was incredibly powerful, and the closer I got to birthing my son, the more I realized how spiritually and psychologically charged the birth experience could be. It was laden with the potential for either transformative beauty or despair. Continue reading “A Different “Right to Choose”: America’s Cultural Denial of True Choice in Childbirth By Stacia Guzzo”

The Misbegotten Male: Male Sex-Selection & Female Abortion By Cynthia Garrity Bond

I turned away and, despite myself, the tears came, tears

Of weakness and disappointment; for what woman

wants a girl for her first-born? They took the child from

me. Kali said: “Never mind. There will be many later

On. You have plenty of time”

Kamala Markandaya , Nectar in a Sieve.

To our modern sensibility, the ancient Greeks understanding of procreation is as far reaching as say Nordstrom’s may be to any dollar store. To the Greeks, men’s testicles had a particular function or job to fulfill: the left one produced girls with the right one producing boys. For Aristotle, if you were willing to “man-up” and take the pain, tie off your left testicle during intercourse in order to insure the birth of a son. In this formula, if something were to go wrong, even though you followed the correct game plan and a girl was born instead of the hope for son, something obviously went wrong at conception, thus the term “The Misbegotten Male,”i.e. a daughter, as the misbegotten. Continue reading

Women Standing as Sacred Witness to One Another By Stacia Guzzo

The following is a guest post written by Stacia Guzzo. She received her MA in Theological Studies from Loyola Marymount University and is currently working toward a MDiv through Fuller Theological Seminary. She is also in the midst of completing certification in Childbirth Education and periodically serves women in her community as a labor doula. She has taught on the elementary and high school levels, led retreats, and spoken at regional congresses through the Los Angeles Roman Catholic Archdiocese. She lives with her husband, son, two dogs, two cats, seven chickens, and five beehives on a small homestead in Tehachapi, California.

“Hands!” The young woman gasped as the next contraction swelled. I quickly put the wet washcloth I had been using to dab her face back in the small bowl of water beside me and grabbed her hands. She squeezed them, moaning low. Her husband stood behind her in the birthing tub, pressing on her hips. Two midwives stood in the background, their encouragement silent and strong. The dim light of dawn was beginning to shine through the window of their home. In another room, the couple’s two-year-old son slept. Continue reading “Women Standing as Sacred Witness to One Another By Stacia Guzzo”

“Now Sarah, Abraham’s wife, bore him no children”: On Experiencing Infertility By Gina Messina-Dysert

Gen 16: 1 reads “Now Sarah, Abraham’s wife, bore him no children.” The simplicity of this statement fails to communicate the complicated and devastating situation Sarah faced. The woman who became the matriarch of the Judeo-Christian tradition was barren, unable to fulfill the one duty that gave her worth within her community. While women were already devalued by society, the social status of a woman struggling with infertility was even further diminished.

Sarah is a woman I have come to identify with. I share her plight of infertility and feel a hopelessness that can only be fully understood by women in a similar situation. Like Sarah I have been desperate to become a mother and although it is the 21st century, as a woman I have felt pressure to do so. Feelings of inadequacy and lack of worth have been overwhelming at times as family members and friend have felt it necessary to not only acknowledge my struggle but also offer commentary on what exactly they think is wrong with me. Continue reading ““Now Sarah, Abraham’s wife, bore him no children”: On Experiencing Infertility By Gina Messina-Dysert”