In the pure white sun dream
I wore a necklace –
bearstone and bone.
For months
meaning
eluded me,
but feeling
erupted
from within-
a volcano
was burning
somewhere
beyond me –
destructive fires,
my body knew.
And beyond that
stones and bones.
Extremes freeze authenticity.
Why is it
that I cannot
hold onto Dark
the way others do?
I keep shedding Shades
like outworn skins –
“Let them go” I pray,
missing the point completely.
An error bordering
on personal stupidity –
Sometimes
Shadow
casts a shroud
to create clarity.
Instead of berating
myself, I need
to look to others
to uncover
what’s hidden
in them.
I own my flaws.
There are dark
rooms in everyone’s house –
not just my own.
Working notes:
As we move into the dark of the year I have an illumination about a dream I had at the height of the summer – a dream that was offering me truth about someone I considered a friend. It interests me that understanding didn’t “dawn” until now. We are close to All Hallows and the Feast of the Dead – a time to reflect on darkness and shadow. What comes to me is the necessity of not focusing exclusively on being account able. My tendency is to find fault with myself while failing to look at what others do. Maybe at this turning more women need to do the same?
Sara is a naturalist, ethologist ( a person who studies animals in their natural habitats) (former) Jungian Pattern Analyst, and a writer. She publishes her work regularly in a number of different venues and is presently living in Northern New Mexico.
feminismandreligion.com 
“My tendency is to find fault with myself while failing to look at what others do.” I think it’s true that many (most?) women tend to find fault with themselves when there is friction–either personal or on a larger scale. The patriarchy has a way of shielding itself from accountability. Way past time for those who are not dominant (in a position of power) to stop taking up the slack. We really have no control over what others do, but we can respond wisely. More and more, I’m finding the wisest behavior is to distance oneself from those who behave in a patriarchal fashion.
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Delightful mood this morning, when I saw this bright headline…
“A Record Number Of Women Will Serve In Congress
(With Potentially More To Come)”
The article also says — “With results still coming in, 98 women have won their House races as of early morning, up from the current 84. In addition, at least 13 women won Senate seats.”
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Esther – I am always shocked that patriarchy manages to distance it self from accountability – but the lack there of is a sign of these times too, I think.
Personally I find being accountable for my ‘flaws’ sets me free so it’s not as if I want more shadows in my closet but I sure am tired of the lack of reciprocity when it comes to others… ugh.
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