What is Wrong with This Picture? Rewriting Eve by Caryn MacGrandle

One of my oldest friends who I met when I was eight years old reached out to me the other day saying that if there was ever anything she could do, please let her know. She lives in another state far away but is a subscriber to one of my blogs so she has been aware of the various things going on in my life (second divorce, so many changes and transitions in my life yet again, etc.)

Her note said if there was ever anything she could do to help, just let her know.

And I thought to myself: hmmmmmm.

You see I just put a new feature on my app where it emails local events to local users, and one of the first steps in getting this to work is having those local events on the app. So I asked her if she would mind helping me put local events on the app.

We had not actually talked in a long time, and when we had a zoom call to discuss this, I broke down crying.

I felt the pity from her. I also saw just how far I had departed from ‘normal.’ 

But I don’t want to be ‘normal’. 

She’s been helping me, and I am very grateful.

At the same time, yesterday in the mail, I got a birthday gift from her: a plaque with the above picture on it.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Both of the women are beautiful. Eve has the serpent wrapped around her leg. It is the look on both of their faces that gets me. It is of guilt, shame and needing to be helped. They both have their hands on Mary’s belly. 

Save us. Save us from our sin.

No fucking thank you.

In my picture, Eve is strong and capable, and she has eaten the apple of knowledge and wisdom. 

Mary has been chosen to birth a prophet: a mighty task.

My Goddess gave birth to your God.

Every morning, I greet the morning on my back porch, meditate, set intentions and remind myself: 

“I love my life, and it is one of strength.”

“I only let in those who see me and align with my inner purpose.”

That is our task right now.

An organization that I used to be involved with invites me to their planning retreat.  Like many of us, they are morphing into new things. I am flattered and say that I will go. 

But I am going to have to jump through some serious hoops to get there: paying an expensive airline flight, car rental and time off work. 

This organization has always promised collaboration and support for each other, but meanwhile, my app is not even listed on their website. 

I offer to do a workshop on creating local Sacred Circles. I have been doing this workshop at various events, and it is quite valuable and looms large in my heart.  Their answer is ‘we’ll see.’

No, I don’t think so. 

I wish them the best and still love them dearly, but at the same time, I realize it is not a place that I belong at the moment.

“I love my life, and it is one of strength.”

“I only let in those who see me and align with my inner purpose.”

I have been exploring ‘Ethical Non-Monogamy’ on one of the online dating sites with the thought that I only have so much to give to a partner right now why not find one already committed to someone else.

I talk to several people, and I connect with one in particular.

But I find it extremely annoying how much they talk about their wives and how much they tell me they love their wives.

Okay. Got it.

And why are you here again? The irony is that in each of the cases it is their wives who have pushed them to explore ENM (Ethical Non Monogamy).

Good for them. Fine. I honor their authenticity.

At the same time, I realize I deserve ‘all’ of a partner not just a little chunk when I fit in.

I may not have a lot of extra time in my busy life, but that does not have to diminish the strength of the connection for what time I do have.

“I love my life, and it is one of strength.”

“I only let in those who see me and align with my inner purpose.”

That is our task right now. The world is shifting and morphing, and these are rough seas. We may not know our destination, but we can feel into our next steps.

I tell the man we can be friends but I will not speak to him daily, and I do not plan on ever having sex with him.

I tell the organization thank you for the invite, but I will not be able to make it.

I tell my friend I appreciate her help, but I no longer need it. That is not my Eve. That is not my Mary. In my picture, they have no shame. No guilt.   

They are of fire and steel and strength, and they are helping to birth a new world.

“I love my life, and it is one of strength.”

“I only let in those who see me and align with my inner purpose.”*

*The sentences are from “Evolutionary Witchcraft” by T. Thorn Coyle. This book is about Feri Tradition Witchcraft which ‘finds connections to the Gods and Nature, [with an] emphasis [placed] firmly on the alignment of the individual practitioner’s soul, and the growth of her power over time.’

And so it is.

BIO: Caryn MacGrandle is the creator behind the Divine Feminine App which has been connecting and inspiring women [and other genders too] throughout the world since 2016 as a directory to find Sacred Circles, events and resources. Women find the app each and every day, and it currently has almost 8000 users from around the world. Caryn has also hosted Sacred Circles and events for the past nine years and is passionate about the power of a Circle to heal individuals and the world. She has participated in numerous online and location events such as the World Parliament of Religions in September of 2021 in which she presented a workshop on Embodying the Goddess:  Creating Rituals with Mind, Body and Soul and just recently a webinar/panel with Dale Allen presenting Dale’s Indie film award winning “In Our Right Minds: Leading Women to Strength as Leaders and Men to Strength without Armor.” Each and every day, Caryn (aka Karen Moon) works tirelessly towards her belief that the most important area to first find equality and balance is the divinity found within yourself.