My Accidental Baptism into the River by Caryn MacGrandle

Yesterday I fell into the river. I had had a long afternoon and had gone to escape for a bit sitting on a bench by the river I live by. I had just gotten done with reading about Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Neptune all being in Pisces. ‘Drip, drip, drip or maybe a huge wave.’ Elsaelsa – The Astrology Blog I had also just gotten done with a Yemaya Mother of the Ocean meditation that I had done for Circle a while back. And as I got back up to go home, I slip-slided all the way down the steep incline in front of the bench.

Plop. Into the river.

I was holding my wallet, my phone, my keys, my glasses and a water bottle. I instantly lost the water bottle but managed to hold the rest above water. I tried to start back up the river bank. And could not. ‘Woman Accidentally Falls Into Raging River and Dies’. My heart rate went up. Okay, it wasn’t raging. I reminded myself that I most likely would not die as I can swim, and I could just go down river to a less steep bank.

But it was most disconcerting.

I forced myself to take a deep breath, threw all my stuff up the significantly steep bank and tried again. My shoe fell off. I was in panic mode. ‘Just get out of the river, Caryn’

Breathed again. I don’t want to have to buy new shoes. I rescued my shoe.

Looked around.

It was awfully steep. And awfully muddy. But I saw a couple of tree roots. Put my shoe back on, looked for a crevice, grabbed the tree root and slowly pulled myself out of the river.

I was at a busy park, so my next thought was embarrassment. Not too far away was a woman sitting on a picnic bench. Another woman was approaching from the parking lot. I was completely soaking and covered in mud.

My panic now turned to ‘get to the car’. Don’t let anyone see you.

‘Why,’ I asked myself? That awful urge to always fit in, to always be calm, cool, collected, put together, not soaking wet and muddy on a cold day in April. I forced myself to slow down.

The woman approaching asked if I was okay. I stopped and told her what happened. She commiserated and said she was glad I was okay.

I went home.

Earlier in the day, I had been up a mountain taking a walk in the woods. I do that pretty much daily. It’s my therapy in a life full of transition at the moment.

And as I was walking, thinking thoughts, by no means all of them good, feeling sad, it just occurred to me,


That is why I like to walk in the woods. Because I hear Goddess/Divinity.

Really? Could it be that simple? Instead of just waiting until all these things I bemoan are ‘fixed’, what if I just let them go right now and be happy and confident?

Trust. Fall. Let Go.

Those are my words for this year. Trust. Fall. Let Go. And I remind myself of them frequently. While walking, when I asked myself about coming from a place of strength not sadness, my thinking shifted. The whole world shifted. All of a sudden, the forest was moving. You think the trees are still but they are not. The trees bend in the wind or at least the ones that are alive and healthy. When you get quiet, you can sit there and watch everything sway. The birds. The sounds. It is all an intricate orchestra.

Trust. Fall. Let Go.

There will always be a tree root to grab to help get yourself out of the water.

BIO: Caryn MacGrandle is the creator behind the Divine Feminine App which has been connecting and inspiring women [and other genders too] throughout the world since 2016 as a directory to find Sacred Circles, events and resources.  Women find the app each and every day, and it currently has almost 8000 users from around the world.  Caryn has also hosted Sacred Circles and events for the past nine years and is passionate about the power of a Circle to heal individuals and the world.  She has participated in numerous online and location events such as the World Parliament of Religions in September of 2021 in which she presented a workshop on Embodying the Goddess:  Creating Rituals with Mind, Body and Soul and just recently a webinar/panel with Dale Allen presenting Dale’s Indie film award winning “In Our Right Minds:  Leading Women to Strength as Leaders and Men to Strength without Armor.”  Each and every day, Caryn (aka Karen Moon) works tirelessly towards her belief that the most important area to first find equality and balance is the divinity found within yourself.

Categories: Feminism, Feminist Awakenings, General

Tags: , , , , ,

9 replies

  1. Falling in the river of life is a good thing as you discovered – what I loved best was hearing that you had ‘roots’ to grab… more than metaphor here –

    This post is synchronistic for me personally – Housecleaning is not fun and I never look forward to doing it – but this year is different – I have been really clearing out the house – Everything that I absolutely don’t need – this include furniture and pictures, extra dishes, pictures etc is gone.. it must be said that I am not a collector so its not as if I had a lot of.

    Afterwards I felt almost ‘high’ – PHYICALLY lighter – an amazing feeling – This “LETTING GO” like your river blessing is in the service of life is it not?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes, it takes an accidental baptism to view life different. When my daughter was ten, she and I hit the beach with our boogie boards at dusk to do a little knee surfing. We hadn;t got to the point where we could stand up. No one explained riptide to us normally landlocked individuals. We found ourselves caught in the riptide being pulled down the coast past the hotels and beach rentals.

    FInally, the riptide loosed its hold on us as we approached several standing rocks about a mile and a lifetime later. I’d managed to hold on to my daughter and boogie boards, and we both safely stumbled to the beach. My lesson besides avoiding the riptide at dusk and dawn, was I was to go with the flow. After initial panic, my bring kicked in, I realize the Goddess provides us with a life preserver, we just have to calm down and grab it. What amazed me most was my daughter’s absolute confidence that Mom would make it all right.

    I’m glad you are safe.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Panic – this is the problem – I have a tendency to panic and it is the antithesis of trust – or at least letting go. If we could remember NOT to panic…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Morgan, and oh my I love these sentences. So true and deep!! “I realize the Goddess provides us with a life preserver, we just have to calm down and grab it. What amazed me most was my daughter’s absolute confidence that Mom would make it all right.”


  3. “WHAT IF YOU CAME TO YOUR LIFE OUT OF A POSITION OF STRENGTH RATHER THAN SADNESS?” I read this early this morning and it has been simmering all day – what a profound and wonderful way to see your life and the world. The fact that this revelation came out of your experience makes me think of all those powerful river goddesses all over the world – bringing their wisdom and energy to you just when you needed it most! A beautiful post for which I am most grateful!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I think we can come to our lives from a position that includes sadness and strength – In fact sorrow does strengthen and deepen us don’t you think?


    • Most definitely Sara. And I still honor and recognize the sadness in me, I just then am working on actively letting it go and approaching my life from strength instead. <3 I think 'vibration' is overused a bit nowadays, but that is what it is: I think of all these sad things in my life, but then I replace those thoughts with 'you are here to do something good. Get going!' ;) <3

      Liked by 1 person

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