Yesterday I fell into the river. I had had a long afternoon and had gone to escape for a bit sitting on a bench by the river I live by. I had just gotten done with reading about Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Neptune all being in Pisces. ‘Drip, drip, drip or maybe a huge wave.’ Elsaelsa – The Astrology Blog I had also just gotten done with a Yemaya Mother of the Ocean meditation that I had done for Circle a while back. And as I got back up to go home, I slip-slided all the way down the steep incline in front of the bench.
Plop. Into the river.
I was holding my wallet, my phone, my keys, my glasses and a water bottle. I instantly lost the water bottle but managed to hold the rest above water. I tried to start back up the river bank. And could not. ‘Woman Accidentally Falls Into Raging River and Dies’. My heart rate went up. Okay, it wasn’t raging. I reminded myself that I most likely would not die as I can swim, and I could just go down river to a less steep bank.
But it was most disconcerting.
I forced myself to take a deep breath, threw all my stuff up the significantly steep bank and tried again. My shoe fell off. I was in panic mode. ‘Just get out of the river, Caryn’
Breathed again. I don’t want to have to buy new shoes. I rescued my shoe.
It was awfully steep. And awfully muddy. But I saw a couple of tree roots. Put my shoe back on, looked for a crevice, grabbed the tree root and slowly pulled myself out of the river.
I was at a busy park, so my next thought was embarrassment. Not too far away was a woman sitting on a picnic bench. Another woman was approaching from the parking lot. I was completely soaking and covered in mud.
My panic now turned to ‘get to the car’. Don’t let anyone see you.
‘Why,’ I asked myself? That awful urge to always fit in, to always be calm, cool, collected, put together, not soaking wet and muddy on a cold day in April. I forced myself to slow down.
The woman approaching asked if I was okay. I stopped and told her what happened. She commiserated and said she was glad I was okay.
I went home.
Earlier in the day, I had been up a mountain taking a walk in the woods. I do that pretty much daily. It’s my therapy in a life full of transition at the moment.
And as I was walking, thinking thoughts, by no means all of them good, feeling sad, it just occurred to me,
WHAT IF YOU CAME TO YOUR LIFE OUT OF A POSITION OF STRENGTH RATHER THAN SADNESS?
That is why I like to walk in the woods. Because I hear Goddess/Divinity.
Really? Could it be that simple? Instead of just waiting until all these things I bemoan are ‘fixed’, what if I just let them go right now and be happy and confident?
Trust. Fall. Let Go.
Those are my words for this year. Trust. Fall. Let Go. And I remind myself of them frequently. While walking, when I asked myself about coming from a place of strength not sadness, my thinking shifted. The whole world shifted. All of a sudden, the forest was moving. You think the trees are still but they are not. The trees bend in the wind or at least the ones that are alive and healthy. When you get quiet, you can sit there and watch everything sway. The birds. The sounds. It is all an intricate orchestra.
Trust. Fall. Let Go.
There will always be a tree root to grab to help get yourself out of the water.
BIO: Caryn MacGrandle is the creator behind the Divine Feminine App which has been connecting and inspiring women [and other genders too] throughout the world since 2016 as a directory to find Sacred Circles, events and resources. Women find the app each and every day, and it currently has almost 8000 users from around the world. Caryn has also hosted Sacred Circles and events for the past nine years and is passionate about the power of a Circle to heal individuals and the world. She has participated in numerous online and location events such as the World Parliament of Religions in September of 2021 in which she presented a workshop on Embodying the Goddess: Creating Rituals with Mind, Body and Soul and just recently a webinar/panel with Dale Allen presenting Dale’s Indie film award winning “In Our Right Minds: Leading Women to Strength as Leaders and Men to Strength without Armor.” Each and every day, Caryn (aka Karen Moon) works tirelessly towards her belief that the most important area to first find equality and balance is the divinity found within yourself.