I wrote this piece in response to an e-mail from a friend that said: “Yes, women’s circles may help you with your headaches that you have every 3 to 7 days (or whatever else ails you.)”
I think women (and men as well, but I think women feel this more deeply in general) are missing a genuine connection to others, a safe place to be heard and accepted, a chance to step outside of their roles and responsibilities in life (if only to see how very similar our challenges are), and a chance to honor beauty whether that be by reading a poem, singing a song or listening to music.
When the minister at the church turned you off towards Christianity by his fear and misdirected anger, you were searching for Divinity within someone else. But Divinity resides within yourself.
Finding your purpose and your ‘spirit’- from the Latin word ‘spirare’ literally meaning ‘breathe’- means finding that which makes you come alive. Finding this cures you of your physical ailments and/or gives you the mindset to travel through them as the body is the soul’s tool for communicating its desires. Finding it usually requires stepping outside of your normal routine and pausing, connecting and breathing. Yes, solitary meditation can do this, but there is something so very powerful when we come together.
A couple of years back I had reached a point in my life where so much of the time I was ‘surviving’: battling feelings of inadequacy, fear, anxiety, anger and sadness. It sounds so very simple but it is true that gathering with other women: listening, supporting, crying, laughing, sharing and talking gave me the tools I needed to start thriving.
You speak of successful women in times past who you find to be ‘intense and painful,‘ and you say you believe they need to be that way in order to survive in a male-heavy world. I believe that we are at a pivotal point in history where we are evolving past that need. A women’s circle can help you to become truly a ‘successful’ woman, whether that be an engineer, a housewife or a logger, by unapologetically and unashamedly becoming yourself. And you do this by looking within to find the Divine.
I am not even sure I understand what people mean when they say they do not believe in God as I consider it a fact that something is responsible for our ‘wondrous’ world. Whether you personally believe that to be an old white guy sitting in a throne above the clouds, a beautiful Goddess found in nature, or the Big Bang Theory, I believe it is important to take time out from your daily life and give gratitude. Not doing that is like attending an incredible party and never thanking the host.
Yes, maybe you find Divinity the easiest among the butterflies in your garden. I can relate as I have felt God in a planetarium looking up at the stars and the universe. What is important is to find that feeling of gratitude, of wonder and of love. It matters not how you find it. Do I believe that a piece of labradorite stone can give you a mystical experience? Not in of itself. Do I believe that the human mind is amazing and powerful? Yes, most definitely. Do I believe that a person who believes in the powers of labradorite stone can have a mystical experience with the assistance of this stone? Yes. Is there a difference between the three questions. Not really.
You get it, don’t you? What I am saying is that I don’t believe it matters at all how you worship, but that you worship. I believe that scientifically this is good for us as a human species. And I believe that it all comes down to humble gratitude, realizing our interconnectedness and love. And I believe that yes, women’s circles can help you discover how best to do this. Women have been forming ‘circles’ for as long as we have been on the earth and so have men for that matter, but the women’s circles that I am talking about have three things in common:
- They are social- bringing us together so that we realize our interconnectedness in a supported and accepting environment.
- They are healing- helping us to find our unique truths by giving us a safe environment to look within ourselves.
- They are empowering- helping each other to proudly stand in our truths no matter what the ‘norm‘ or what others think.
If you are one of the lucky ones who has already found what inspires you and makes you come alive, go to a women’s circle and share this with other women. It will make you feel incredible to help others. And if you are still looking, gather the women and form a circle. It will help give you the tools to be inspired.
Growing up, Karen Moon ‘coulda been somebody’ as she had the brains but lacked discipline and motivation. She pursued what she wanted most: Mommeehood and a large loving family. She tried so hard that she and failure collided often but along the way she figured out she had been somebody all along. Nowadays, in addition to raising her four children aged two to thirteen in a blended family, she holds her moon lodges on the new and full moons, meets and supports other wild mamas and continues to work on making her home first in her heart. Her writings can be found at elephant journal and on her website: http://www.foxrivermamas.com