Meeting my Disr by Deanne Quarrie


Deanne Quarrie, D.Min.Who are the Dsir?

Freyja, known as “Ancestor Spirit”, is viewed as the timeless, self-renewing energy in the universe. She witnesses and shapes the direction of creation and undoing. She is not the originating, creating Goddess, but rather a conduit for energy and life. Women who learn Seidr become like her, living conduits.

I like the idea of the Giantesses being the primordial mothers and the dsir being our female ancestral lineage in that building a connection to Freyja is building a connection through my ancestral mother line. Freya is the Queen of the Dsir. The dsir are present at every person’s birth, through their life and at their death.” (Ancient Mothers, Winefred Hodge). At our birth, these ancient mothers enter our bodies with our first breath and guide us through our lives, and at our death, we release their spirit with our last breath. Freyja could very well be the first of our line that we carry with us generation after generation.

The dsir are specific to families. Every family has their ancestral mother’s blood flowing in their veins. The dsir provide the little voice inside, providing us with wisdom in our choices. They are ours, inherited from our mothers and our ancestral mother line. The dsir are important to both men and women, as we all carry this mother line. They bring us awareness of what we need: strength, intuition, inspiration, etc. They aid us in healing, in seeing, and as wise female spirits that guide with that gut instinct we get when something feels right or very wrong. They are the voice of our intuition, the source of our wisdom.

I decided to take a journey to see if I could connect with my own dsir. I used Solfeggio music for this meditation. I lit my candles and invited my dsir, the Norns and Freyja to be with me as I journeyed. I sat awhile and just drifted with the music. I invited one of my animals to join me but instead I reached into my pocket and pulled out my boat. No animal ever did come but I was happy to see I still had my boat which had appeared in a similar way in a previous journey! This time it was a row boat but I only had one oar. I was dressed in my blue cloak. I also realized I had no plan as to where I was going to go, so I just asked to go where I could meet Freyja and her giantess mothers. My boat took me to a very cold place. There were giant icecaps all around the water we traveled on as well as mountainous rocks and high mountains! I did not feel that I was in Niflheimr but rather a very cold part of Jötunheimr, home of the Frost and Rock Giants.

I reached a shore and felt as though I now had a guide but did not see who that guide was until later. We walked over to an opening in a large mountainous place and stepped into a cave. I was well lit and very warm. I looked at myself and was no longer wearing my blue cloak but now had warm furs wrapped around me, heavy leather, and fur boots as well. There was a table set up with mountains of food on it. Women with friendly faces were sitting around the table. They were all dressed much like I was. Suddenly, I saw who was sitting by me and who had been my guide. It was Freyja and she was smiling at me. She told me that the women around the table were my dsir and that they had been with me my whole life. She explained that my connection to them was also my connection to her. She said that at times I would know they were with me and that even if I did not sense her individual presence, she would be there always with them. They were my connection to her. With her words I felt a warmth flow through me. I felt safe and protected and loved.

We somehow completed a meal together but I don’t have details of that! It was suddenly time to leave and I was taken back to my boat and returned to this place.

We are told that Freyja’s earliest memory is of being breastfed by nine giantesses, primordial mothers. Lore tells us that she is the ancestor of femaleness, known as dsir, not simply human women, that are said to have been created from a tree by Oðinn. Being linked to the primordial creative power of the giants transplants Freyja into a figure who is herself primordial and outside of time. She is the sacred daughter of the primordial mothers and the one who is self-resurrecting.

There is something very comforting knowing that my ancestors, my dsir are with me. Knowing that I have a matrilineal line, who live not only in the past, but are with me in the present and that their wisdom guides me as I journey through this life. Imagine that our Mothers, our Grandmothers and on back Mother to Mother, being here it guide and protect us. Just imagine!

 

Deanne Quarrie. D. Min. is a Priestess of the Goddess. She is the author of five books. She is the founder of the Apple Branch where she teaches courses in Feminist Dianic Witchcraft and Northern European Witchcraft. There she mentors women who wish to serve others as priestesses in their communities. She serves as an Adjunct Professor at Ocean Seminary College in a few courses and is the founder of Global Goddess, a worldwide organization open to all women who honor some form of the divine feminine.

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Categories: Ancestors, Belief, Community, Family, Female Saints, Feminism and Religion, Foremothers, Friendship, General, Herstory, Motherhood, Relationality, Relationships

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7 replies

  1. I loved this essay… I loved going with you on your journey to be with the Ancient Mothers… and I felt the truth of these Presences in my bones…I too have met them throughout my life in trees, plants animals and goddesses but I am aware now that they have always been with me – I just wish I had known… I don’t feel a personal ancestor connection like you do, no doubt because of my history but I know them in other guises.

    Thank you for this moving essay.

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  2. Fascinating. Do I remember correctly that we have the DNA of our mother line in us, too?

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  3. Correct. It is the mitochondrial DNA. We all have it but it is passed online by the female line.

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  4. Laughing now – I did not type online – it was only on that I typed!

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  5. Beautiful post, Deanne. I love your vision. It entices me to connect with my mother line in a similar way, since I’m mostly German. Except for Freya, however, I have never been attracted to Norse mythology, because of the violence built into its very foundational myths (the Vanir against the Aesir, for instance). I wonder how you deal with that? Also I’ve never seen dsir spelled this way. Usually It’s disir.

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  6. Unfortunately, the written Norse mythology we have available was written after Christianity claimed Europe and so, just as we do with Celtic mythology, we have to read between the lines and dig back to a time when the patriarchy had not infiltrated our thinking and find the essence of those stories. My connection with Northern European studies is through Seidr, which was originally an art belonging only to women. Like everything else, men claimed that as well but my studies in Seidr have given me a way to look at these stories in a new way. Perhaps the differences between the Aesir and the Vanir are the differences between Earth loving, nature people and the “power over” sky gods that came in with the patriarchy.,

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