On Guilt and G-d, the Parent by Ivy Helman.

29662350_10155723099993089_8391051315166448776_oSometimes, being overwhelmed with guilt makes one unable to act.  Other times, guilt manipulates and attempts to control.  It might offer a sense of responsibility and concern. More often than not, guilt comes bundled in small doses of should-haves and could-haves.

For example, when you feel guilty for skipping exercise and instead lay in front of the television binge-watching your new favorite show.  It’s not the end of the world, but you really should have gone and exercised.  Or, when you feel bad for getting into a fight with a friend and saying something mean when you could have done otherwise.  In general, I think there is such a thing as a healthy amount of guilt which spurs right actions, sincere apologies, forgiveness and knowledge of the good.

Jewish tradition generally agrees with me that a measured amount of guilt is often quite helpful.  Guilt instructs us in right and wrong and guides us to be more responsible, more mature individuals.  Indeed, it even clues us into a better understanding of G-d.   Continue reading “On Guilt and G-d, the Parent by Ivy Helman.”

The Burden of Shame by Oxana Poberejnaia

I know a man who says to his daughter: “You should be ashamed of yourself” when he wants to imbue some good habits in her. One example would be not putting her dirty socks in the laundry basket. It might seem trivial, but I don’t think it is. I feel that shame is a toxic element of our personalities. I believe shame results in negative consequences, such as sabotaging oneself and health problems.

Many spiritual traditions, including Buddhism, perceive guilt as a trigger for moral development. The rational is, when we feel bad about something we had done, we will change our behaviour for better. The question is: how bad exactly are we supposed to feel, both in terms of quality and quantity of that feeling? Continue reading “The Burden of Shame by Oxana Poberejnaia”

Religion: Trapped in Love Through Shame by Andreea Nica

Andreea Nica, pentecostalismI was first introduced to shame in the church. Shame paradoxically drew me closer to God, prevented me from committing sins, and helped me repress certain natural urges. The church I grew up in indoctrinated its congregation to believe that shame would transform us into true and wholehearted believers – that as carnal beings, we needed to feel both guilt and shame in order to be saved and transformed into spiritual entities.

One question that permeated my mind growing up, but I’d never dare to publicly ask:

Why would Jesus die for me when I never asked Him to? Continue reading “Religion: Trapped in Love Through Shame by Andreea Nica”

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