The glorious blue and gold summer day permeated by the scent of wild roses faded as the ominous words swirled around my head trying to get in. Roe overturned.
For a moment rebellion – disbelief, NO, something screamed in silent anguish. NO. Then mind flooded with poison… Pure hatred rose in a frightening swell that threatened to overpower my instincts. But I heard the words: “Go parallel with your hatred –do not give in.” Words that brought me back to my body, to my senses.
My hair caught fire. How did they get away with it again? First Kavanaugh, a credibly accused rapist elected to the Supreme Court – a few years in between and now Roe overturned. Men deciding how women should behave, men insisting that women support ‘life’ at their own expense – rape doesn’t count. Women have lost their most basic human right – the right to have control over their own bodies.
As of today men control our bodies – we are forced by men to have children that may end up destroying us, physically or psychologically. Innocent children born and forced to live the life of the unwanted child like I did – never ‘good enough’ always trying harder to please, or worse, angry poverty stricken children ending up striking back through pain and hatred by repeating the pattern of neglect or abuse vindictively.
Worst of all we are already overloaded with humans on a planet that can no longer support us. We are literally running out of food, clean air and water and yet we insist that women function as baby machines forcing even more children to be born? How do we ignore the children who starve, children who are abandoned, children who have no access to medical assistance?
Children that will struggle to live through whatever terrors may lie ahead.
We have already proved how much humans have come to hate the living breathing earth. It’s not much of a stretch to include hatred of women and children in the mix.
Last night I had a terrifying dream. As a naturalist I have a deep love for trees and in my dream every single tree I loved was cut down. I turned to my tormentors screaming “who took care of those trees, nurtured and loved those trees, cared for the birds who had nests in those trees with eggs?” The men shut up. “Where’s my paycheck?” I screeched again, enraged by grief too deep for words, knowing that it was too late and nothing would make a difference.
I awakened horrified. Now I know why. Those trees were women. As Julia Butterfly Hill said to Luna, the tree she lived in for almost two years in order to keep her alive:
“The world stops
and holds its breath
What will “she “ do?
What will “she” say?
What does “she” see?
As if “she” is something other
Moderator’s Note: Places for women to seek out help, places to donate:
These two agencies help with finances and other resources for women who need to travel to obtain an abortion
This agency co-ordinates and is a clearing house for information. It helps people find local help
National Network of Abortion Funds
Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project
Reproductive Justice – Sister Song
HBO Documentary – The Janes
BIO: Sara Wright is a naturalist, ethologist (a person who studies animals in their natural habitats) (former) Jungian Pattern Analyst, and a writer. She publishes her work regularly in a number of different venues and is presently living in Maine.
8 thoughts on “From Kavanaugh to Hell by Sara Wright”
I can’t find the article now but a senator said “it’s to preserve white life”! Right from the dark ages!
What do you think is the meaning of the words, “Go parallel with your hatred”? I’m curious and intrigued with the idea.
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I don’t believe we can afford to give in to hatred when we feel it – acknowledge yes but make a commitment NOT to go to the other side – make sense?
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And Kavanaugh isn’t the first and only one. Let’s all remember what Anita Hill told an all-male panel of senators what Clarence Thomas kept saying and suggesting to her. I don’t remember her saying anything about actual rape, but he certainly was after her,. And the men confirmed him and he’s still sitting there, pompous and unutterably vile.
What indeed will we and our children be living through now? I think I’m about ready to move into a treehouse, so to speak. Into a safer place. Thanks for writing about your reactions to what’s going on. Bright blessings and safety to you and to all of us! Let’s fight back against those awful patriarchal judges and senators and representatives who don’t care if we women live or die.
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Oh Barbara, we have been in this battle our whole lives and seem to be going in circles – this is what makes me crazy.
No sex with men until women have reproductive freedom…that is my philosophy, and I’m sticking with it. I don’t need d!ck for an orgasm.
Dark Days indeed. Terrifying. Hopefully order will come out of this chaos.
Thank you for your words, they are incredibly important. I feel numb and still in shock by the “supreme” court decision. I’ve done what I’m told to do, vote. I knew it wasn’t enough all along. My friends and I have taken to the streets, and will continue to do so. It’s a scary time, and I am in my reproductive years, my husband and I do want to start our family soon. With this news, another level of fear has been added. Hopefully the outrage gets people to turn out in record numbers.
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