Second Class Citizen
When he backed me
up against the tree
inching towards me
menacingly
with his big powerful car
I couldn’t believe
what was happening.
I was holding the space
for a car full of dogs
waiting to park
just behind him.
He got out of the car
And I said
You can’t do this
this spot is taken.
Six feet tall, he sneered
You can’t save spaces
in a parking lot.
I have two dogs
and they won’t allow
them in the store –
it’s too hot in the sun
I need this spot,
I tried to explain.
I have dogs too
the man replied.
Are they with you
I asked?
– Giving him
a chance to redeem
himself.
No. My dogs
are home.
Then you of
all people should know
how I feel.
He laughed,
his mouth twisted
into a grimace full of scorn,
tossed a golden mane
dismissing me.
Walked off
so full of himself
and his rights.
“You Bastard”
I cried out twice
as two employees,
both boys,
snickered enjoying
the fun at my expense.
One had the audacity
to tell me
I was troublemaking
in a public parking lot.
To them
a 73 year old
woman being driven
from a tree shaded space
while advocating
for animals and human decency
was nothing but a joke.
In the car
I cursed the man
flung poisoned arrows
his way,
knowing that nothing
would take away
the pain of knowing
that as a woman
and as an elder
I had less rights
than these arrogant
men and boys.
I am by virtue of my sex
a second class citizen
in a woman hating culture
that just won’t quit.
Working notes:
The encounter in the parking lot followed another that occurred when I tried to enter the store I have shopped in before with my two dogs. This time, barred at the entrance, I was asked if my dogs were service dogs. When I said they were I was interrogated. What was my problem? I suffer from PTSD I told them and these dogs are my support system. All this was true. “An emotional problem doesn’t classify as a reason to enter the store with animals.” What?????
You can be sure that if I was an ex-military man accompanied by dogs who said he suffered from PTSD no one would have barred him from the store.
To be singled out as a “second class citizen” twice in one day because I am a woman diminished me as a human being against my own will. Old wounds surfaced. I am full of holes that I cannot repair because lack of accountability on another’s part ensures that shame will attach itself to me.
Sara is a naturalist, ethologist ( a person who studies animals in their natural habitats) (former) Jungian Pattern Analyst, and a writer. She publishes her work regularly in a number of different venues and is presently living in Northern New Mexico.
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Dear Sara, my tears are flowing as I read this. I can feel it too. The vulnerability, the “lessening”, the frustration and anger. I want to “knee them” where it would hurt, but my knees don’t work so well anymore and I’d end up hurting myself.
I ask myself, “what can we do?” The only answer that comes back to me is: Share the experience with other women in the area, and Group. and Tell, the store manager, the newspapers, consumer groups, etc. Make lots of noise, because that is what bullies hate most of all – shining light on their cowardice.
I wish I was there and could go shopping with you.
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I made a formal complaint to the store manager and the chain… but know where that goes… so I am with you. Sharing our stories allows us to be comforted and to comfort, but hopefully is also sensitizes us to the continuing ways that this system works to dismiss us… Women must untie… we can stop this if we work together – but first we need “women centered women” not women who are male identified and how do we solve that problem? I try to model woman centered thinking/feeling but is that all we can do?
Thank you so much much for caring…
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I am so sorry you have suffered this treatment, which is not only sexist but utterly lacking in basic civility. I wonder if you will take the matter up with the store owner? I believe the law is on your side. People take service animals with them on airplanes, so how can they legally be denied entry to a store? Heart with you!
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With respect to service animals it is against the law to deny people their support animals – but we know how this system really works when it comes to women – don’t we?
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Alas, we do. May you prevail!
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That is a very sad–but too often true–story! I find the guy in the parking lot especially disgusting. Male privilege needs to be overturned because (for just one reason) women have service animals, too, and anyone with a service animal needs to be respected and treated kindly. Such a sad story. I hope things improve for you and for everyone else who gets treated as a second-class citizen. Bright blessings!
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We just HAVE to improve things for women – somehow.
Thanks Barbara
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