Finding that Feeling and Standing to Heal the Earth by Caryn MacGrandle

Something happened to me while listening to a song yesterday Mycelia by Yaima Music about the Mycelium Network: the largest living organism in the world underneath our feet, connected by synapses, communicating and assisting life. I found that feeling. 

The one where you know you are on Path.

Laney Goodman who just passed, I remembered her singing and drumming.  I remembered being at ALisa Starkweather’s Daughter of the Earth events, meeting the hundreds of Priestesses that ALisa has brought together and trained over the years. Being in awe. Wishing I was a person who could do that.

I remembered that I Am.

“Starting to Hear the Earth
Standing to Heal the Earth”

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past nine years where I have developed and continually nurtured the divine feminine app, a way to connect us and promote the work of the Mother, sometimes through only sheer stubborn persistence, listening when Mom tapped me on the shoulder, pouring my time and attention and personal funds into promoting Sacred Circles, Women’s Circles, Mother God, Mother Nature.

You can do things you never knew you were capable of.

When you listen to that voice.

Sometimes I get caught up in being ‘successful’ in the way that our society has defined success: money in the bank, nice cars and homes. 

But I know that is not true.

I bought ten acres of unrestricted land in North Carolina. I wasn’t sure why but I have been following that voice.  It took me almost a year to find it and a lot of work. I would find different parcels of land and then drive the three or four hours to get there, and the Land would say ‘f’ you’ to me. Do you really want this?

Panic attacks, getting lost, sliding my car down the ice on mountain hills with ravines on either side.

One time having to get my car pulled out by a stranger’s four wheeler from the pine trees that I had backed into trying to get down off the mountainous dirt road.  Nowhere to turn around on top of the mountain. Nothing to do but go backwards with pine needles accumulating under my tires and then driving into the trees.  Getting stuck. Oh no.

No bra, phases of the moon t-shirt, ‘My Goddess birthed your God’ bumper sticker. 

‘Crazy ass woman,’ I am sure that backwoods friendly neighbor who helped pull out my car thought.

Yes. But I felt he also knew my crazy was going to save the world.

He knew in the way backwoods mountainous people know the power of learning to live with the land and how often the best thing to do is just observe forces of nature.

I am learning how to be a force of nature.

“Starting to Hear the Earth
Standing to Heal the Earth”

I was with my 19 year old son when I finally found the parcel of Land to buy. He is the one of my children who most feels like he is in alignment with this New World being built. He is studying business statistics at the University of Cincinnati, is intuitive, connects with nature, has long hair, paints his fingernails black, lives with band playing roomies who write their responsibilities on dry erase boards and relaxes on weekend concerts with others like him. 

He is happy. In a world of people who do not seem all that happy anymore.

I do not get to see him very often, but he was with me that weekend and when we turned on the dirt road to get to visit another parcel of Land for sale.

And I knew right away that I had found it.

I felt it. It hit everyone of my requirements, and I listened. And bought it. Even though it did not make ‘sense’ in my life at the moment and was definitely a stretch in a life rebuilding from divorce number two. 

I listened anyhow.

It occurred to me sitting in meditation this morning as I do every morning that I did not buy that Land to have retreats on it.

I bought the Land to listen. 

I bought the Land to learn how to steward.

And this is so very simple. Some of the wisest things in life are.

I still have a lot of holes in my life: a lot of unknown and unbalanced parts. But I am trusting more and more the way to find that balance. Listen. Sing. Drum. Meditate.  Sit. Then Stand.

Find that feeling and follow it.

Decide who you want to be. 

And be it.

BIO: Caryn MacGrandle is the creator behind the Divine Feminine App which has been connecting and inspiring women [and other genders too] throughout the world since 2016 as a directory to find Sacred Circles, events and resources. Women find the app each and every day, and it currently has almost 8000 users from around the world. Caryn has also hosted Sacred Circles and events for the past nine years and is passionate about the power of a Circle to heal individuals and the world. She has participated in numerous online and location events such as the World Parliament of Religions in September of 2021 in which she presented a workshop on Embodying the Goddess: Creating Rituals with Mind, Body and Soul and just recently a webinar/panel with Dale Allen presenting Dale’s Indie film award winning “In Our Right Minds: Leading Women to Strength as Leaders and Men to Strength without Armor.” Each and every day, Caryn (aka Karen Moon) works tirelessly towards her belief that the most important area to first find equality and balance is the divinity found within yourself.

Categories: Authenticity, Earth-based spirituality, Environmental Spirituality, General, meditations, mindfulness, Women's Spirituality, Women's Voices

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16 replies

  1. Living in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I have also seen that the old-time mountain people have their intuition working, and they can sense who you really are. The slow quietness comes from age-old respect for the Earth. Not so very attached to the Church as you might think, also. Sometimes I can hear this through the ancient Modal music here. Blessings on your new life and following your intuition!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a wise and inspiring post! I love your exploration of learning to listen, really listen deeply, not just to what we are used to hearing, but to those voices we often don’t hear because we were never taught how to listen for them, and how that has made such a difference in your life. I think that has been a theme that has run through a number of recent posts in one way or another. Maybe we, as a group here at FAR but also the greater global community, is entering into a time when we need to stop and listen and that is why so many are hearing of the necessity of regaining this skill of deep listening. I’m so glad you found your Land that speaks to you so eloquently! And I’m so sorry to hear of Laney Goodman’s passing. I also encountered her a number of times at sacred events and she was always generous, kind, and so so talented. She will be very deeply missed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reading your story reminded me of my own journey buying this land 40 years ago – I KNEW – why? because the land told me – I was supposed to come here to witness – to learn how to listen – I am still learning – and the voices become clearer and clearer…..


  4. Just watched Fantastic Fungi on Netflix. It will take you there. Thanks for this piece.


  5. Thank you for this message, and the reminder to listen. I have had a connection to the Mycelium since 2016 when a friend communicated with me through it .. Yes, I know, sounds bonkers. Thank you for the link to that song, so perfect for all of us right now.


  6. Wow, this is just what i needed to hear. You’re journey has been powerful and I’ve always experienced you as a force. Thank you for sharing this with us.


  7. I really resonate with your words here. In fact just the other day in discussion about religion and spirituality with someone, I made the comment – “I look to the land now.” Nature has the answer. We just have to listen as you say. LIstening to nature is the only thing that helps me when I sink into that despair about not having achieved the success validated by this crazy world – money and fame. Thanks for sharing your journey.


  8. Thank you for the comment Judith. Glad to hear. I think so many of us are there right now.


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