
What follows is yet another story of how patriarchy is destroying our culture through the lens of personal narrative. This is a pattern we must uncover, reveal for what it is and refuse to participate. As bell hooks once said, “your silence will not protect you”. Especially from insanity.
I was gone when the U-Haul moved out.
For almost 19 years Ugly neighbor lied, manipulated, tried to steal land, stole my young balsam trees, ignored covenants on our deeds and most recently started to set off explosives.
Six months after moving in here this guy cut down my trees and built a bridge over the brook on my land. It never occurred to me that he did it. Oh, I wasn’t accustomed to this sophisticated level of manipulation. When I approached Ugly neighbor (alias ‘nice guy’ with a fake halloween pumpkin smile) to tell him what I believed someone else had done, I discovered he built the bridge; he cut down my trees. Stunned, it barely registered when he said “I did it for you.” WHAT???
Accustomed to the old fashioned ‘respect your neighbor policy’ I had no frame of reference for the hell that was coming my way.
The plot thickened. Determined to get along with these folks (he had a wife) I agreed to have the road plowed by a guy who just never got around to keeping my driveway open for two years. Then something happened – did this guy go to jail? Lose his license? Don’t remember.
In the meantime behind my back Ugly neighbor had contacted someone else to plow, never told me and I got a bill. Furious, I wrote the company informing them I had no idea what this man had done and was not going to comply because of the way this situation had been handled. Instead I called reputable folks that I already knew to plow. Problem solved.
By now I was getting it. These neighbors were poisoned apples, but I attempted a few more times to open the doors of communication between us, if only to diffuse tension and put an end to their stupid silent treatment.
The last time I spoke with Ugly neighbor was in 2012 when I approached him in the spirit of reconciliation once again. That conversation I recall vividly. I told him that we didn’t even have to like each other but that we shared physical boundaries and could at the very least be civil to one another. Ugly neighbor’s response was that “once he liked me, but because I had betrayed him three times he no longer did”. WHAT? This sounded like some kind of bad fairy tale – three times betrayed by? Certainly not by me. Pure projection on his part. Another reversal and crazymaker.
More years of silence. And then Ugly neighbor retired and that first spring he beheaded every single tree that bordered the road we shared. Trees stripped and bleeding, crowns hacked off, limbs mangled beyond recognition. All the poor birds that were nesting lost their homes and I was flooded with terrified avian immigrants. Who knows how many birds were lost.
Every person that came down this road witnessed the carnage and said “this guy must be crazy” or something to that effect.
Why, some asked? I shook my head in confusion. I didn’t know.
When the truth finally seeped in I was initially shocked. All this hatred was directed at me. This man knew how much I loved trees and of course, as a coward, this was how he visibly enacted his ongoing revenge (meanwhile he was stealing young trees from my land and planting them on his property). The landscape around his house looked tidy; it wasn’t until someone came down the road that the frightening wall of carnage became evident. Of course, as a naturalist I knew in time nature would heal what she could. Since then the trees are returning, some still struggling, but most are doing their best to emerge from out of the monstrous piles, the wall of chaos and slash.
When I realized Ugly neighbor’s hatred was out of control I had no choice except to turn away. Not engaging, or making useless attempts to reason with a crazy person seemed my only recourse and I took it.
I know this sounds naive but until I met Ugly neighbor I believed that “evil” was a human construction and not actually REAL. Now I had finally learned a terrible lesson.
Evil thrives in some people, and in these ever darkening times when hatred and revenge have become ‘normalized’ getting the message that evil was REAL and ever present as a reality was a truth I needed to embrace.

The abuse didn’t cease. Ugly neighbor plus cronies used my land as their winter playground while I spent time in New Mexico during a period of four years. During that time he cut down more trees on my property. I was forced to set up cameras to document Ugly neighbor’s behavior, so now I have an abundance of proof.
The final insult came when Ugly neighbor put his place up for sale advertising that he had five plus acres (almost an acre more) when our deeds state he owns 4.8 acres. So whose land was he claiming? Why, mine, of course. He also attempted to appropriate some of my long term abutting neighbor’s land, by putting up ‘No Trespassing’ signs on his property too! My good neighbor and I have since re – marked our boundaries.
Last night when walking up the road with my two little dogs I thought about the difficult lesson that I had been forced to learn – and could actually feel a sense of gratitude.
In the stillness of the evening light I spoke to the trees; I had witnessed their mutilation and slaughter, now I sensed their relief.

BIO: Sara is a naturalist, ethologist (a person who studies animals in their natural habitats) (former) Jungian Pattern Analyst, and a writer. She publishes her work regularly in a number of different venues and is presently living in Maine.
This guy needs to be dealt with legally. As in arrested. What a monster
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Yes he did but whenever I tried to nail him town politics took over – truly a nightmare when someone lives alone and just wants to get along! My guess is that he’ll get it somehow in a rage he pulled off my no trespassing sign on his way out – shot full of holes – guys like that eventually incinerate – thanks!!!
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That’s when Witchcraft needs to be used. I’d have cursed the fucker
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Scary story! I have a friend who lives in the California mountains who has a neighbor almost like Ugly. This guy moved in and just started chopping down trees, building over the property line, doing many evil deeds. Yes, such men think they’re privileged and can do whatever they damn well want simply because they’re men. I sure am glad most men are not like them! I’m glad you and the trees–and, no doubt, every other bit of vegetation and wildlife–can breathe peacefully again. Stay safe! Take good care of yourself and the environment. Bright blessings!
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Gosh thanks BArbara – it’s so helpful to expose the villainy and have it witnessed by people like you – big part of the healing for me – that and exposure – anyone who is dealing with a situation like that needs to take immediate action – I chose good neighbor – never again – now I’m wary…but still hopeful – and it’s done or will be when the second half is posted – I don’t want any woman to suffer like I did
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Oh, Sara, what an awful experience you were put through. I am beyond relieved that this ugliness if now far from you, but still. Indeed this was no “neighbor” in the best sense of the word – I like that you have captured that with the use of quotation marks. May the healing of the trees continue and your safety always be assured. Bright blessings, friend!
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Thank you – so grateful these horrible people are gone! Ma y blessings dear …❤️
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Sara, I’m so glad he is gone and so sorry you had to experience this. Now you and the land and the trees can heal. I hope you are able to enjoy some peaceful days in this last half of summer and put this all behind you.
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Sara, I went through something similar with a neighbor. The first time I talked with him I caught him in a couple of lies so that was a red flag for me. I had read an excellent book called, appropriately enough, “The Sociopath Next Door,” and I knew that sociopaths often lie, so I wondered if I was dealing with one. He and his wife had their 6 acres clear cut, including some huge pines. He claimed he did it because his girls were allergic to pine pollen. Later he told me they weren’t and he didn’t know where I got that idea! Like you I was heartbroken. He also mowed some of my field and pulled out a bush. He did this gradually so at first I didn’t notice, but finally he was blatant about it. I then had my land surveyed and found that he’d also torn up a bit of my woods. I finally had a fence put up between my land and his and he pitched a fit! Then his house burned, but not all of it. The insurance company wanted him to rebuild the part that had burned only, so he sold the place. I learned from the people who bought it that he hassled them until they called the police on him. I’m so glad he and his family moved. Unfortunately they only moved a mile down the road, but at least they aren’t next door and I have nice neighbors now.
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Oh how I feel for you – living through a monstrous thing like this is really impossible to convey… When I met my new neighbor yesterday she said “oh they were so good to us” god, people just aren’t prepared for the underbelly of the beast…. BUT I learned from her that crazy man moved down to the coast… and are building a ‘family house’ – here’s another joke – since only she has family and none of them are close – no wonder he stayed here to the bitter end – No one ever came to see them in the 19 years they were here! Far far away could never be far enough for me. I am saddened to hear that yours only moved a mile away…I’m so wary now its scary… new neighbor seems nice but what what does nice mean?
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Sara, I’m glad your former neighbors moved far away. The people who bought the place next door flipped it and our new neighbors are educators from Kentucky. They are young and very nice, thank goodness! I agree that most people have no idea what evil is so they don’t recognize evil people when they see them. We tend to think evil people look “crazy,” but they usually look like us.
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Went through hell with a similar situation. It’s a painful story and I battle to get over it. Glad you can breathe easier now. Healing comes with time.
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Hell it is with a capital h – and recovery is just beginning for me – any time I think about these horrible people I try to remember they are not going to take up my psychic space now that they are gone and dead…. May you find the peace you need. Blessings Sara
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